All of a sudden my life has been throw into busy mode. I'm not liking it, I probably shouldn't even be writing this because I have so much to do.

I just had to jot down my first time ever getting pulled over. It's a historic moment in many peoples lives and mine was no different. Heather needed me to drive her to Southie to drop of some prints for her show next weekend. Of course I said yes. We're driving along and hit a red light. It turns green and the car in front of me just starts inching forward, I wait, he sits there so I honk and drive around him. This was legal because it was a one way street. Not even two seconds later he flips on his lights. I don't think I registered at this point that I was getting pulled over because, seriously, who gets pulled over for honking. Especially considering I always drive at least 10 miles an hour over the speed limit, I guess they don't care about that. The officer got out of his car and gave me a nice little chat about exactly what a horn is used for. Apparently it's not allowed to be used to tell people to "get the eff out of my way". I'm still cracking up about it.

Thursday night is free night at the ICA so we went. Shepard Fairy's art exhibit is being shown right now. He is the one that did the very popular Obama print.



I hadn't seen very much of his work before this but I'm in love with it! It's amazing. They had this huge piece of a little girl smelling a rose out of a grenade and I think it might be my favorite. The print in the show looked different than this but I like how he pastes them in cities.



Back to work. I have an interview today that I'm feeling very hopeful about, I really really need this job so I need it to go well.

**Warning, vent ahead**

If you don't want to know my true feelings than turn back now. This is the reason I have a blog. For me to get my thoughts out. I don't give my blog address to family or very many friends because frankly, some times I need to bitch about them.

This is one of those times.



After the break-up of Bob and I, he admittedly took it harder than I did. Does that mean that I didn't hurt? No, I did. I cried through a good week for him. I felt like a total bitch hurting him but I didn't love him and needed to move on. I had never experienced a break up before and thought that my friends would come running with pints of Ben and Jerry's ice cream and movies for us to watch. They didn't. I made it through that time by myself. I remember on one occasion asking to go to a club to get my mind off of things. That didn't happen. A party was thrown but since Bob was there, I wasn't invited. I totally understand that he doesn't want to hang out with me, especially at his house. I just thought maybe my friend would say screw the party, want to go to dinner? I sat at home that night crying again.

I'm not used to this kind of 'friendship'. Growing up I had a very very few select people who I called my friend. I would bend over fucking backwards for these people if they ever needed me. I know they would do the same. Coming here it's been quite a shock to the system because that isn't necessarily happening.

So, since Nicole's birthday is right around the corner and her being what I would consider one of my best friends, I wanted to celebrate it with her. Especially since this is her last childless birthday. It's kind of a big one. I had been talking to her about it for awhile. I even mentioned once planning something if John wasn't going to. I was assured that John had it handled and I didn't need to worry about it. I have been bugging her for a few weeks, let me know what the plan is. I also told her to let me know if Bob was going to be there. This was when I thought Nick might be coming down and that would be awkward for all involved, but I highly doubt he's coming so now I don't care if Bob will be there.

Imagine my surprise when today I'm informed that me, Nicole, John and possibly Heather can go to dinner. Then they are going to Bobs house for a party, but I'm not invited. I wasn't going to get offended or hurt, but it happened. I'm human. So that's it. I'm going to spend an hour at dinner with them and then come home.

Why does this upset me so much? Because I've been there for Nicole a lot. We used to spend pretty much every single day together and now that I'm living in Boston that hasn't been happening. She see's Bob all of the time now so I don't quite understand why it's of the up most importance to spend the evening with a bunch of fucking underage drunken teenagers. It makes me feel like shit. I'll probably spend the evening planning her baby shower where I see hundreds and hundreds of dollars flying out of my bank account and absolutely no business spending that kind of money. But I want to. Because that's what friends do. Or so I thought.

Yesterday I called my mom and told her that I wanted to try and contact my read dad.

This is something I have been thinking about for awhile but watching Dr. Phil yesterday made me make the call. He had families on who from the help of The Locater, had been re-united.

When I was younger I always said I never had any interest in knowing him. But as I've gotten older, I've been more curious. What is he like? What personality traits of mine did I get from him? I know I have half-siblings, what are they like? Do they even know I exist?

I don't know if I'll even been able to find him, or talk to him, but I'm going to try.

This weekend was a total blast. Tiring but fun.

I left work early on Friday and headed to New Jersey first. Didn't think I was going to stop there but at the last minute Jersey boy found out he could get out of the photoshoot early so we could grab dinner. I wasn't nervous to meet him because we had talked online for months and I felt like I knew him already. He took me to this little Mexican restaurant with no tables, just a bar. The food was delicious, the Spanish soap opera in the background was amusing and the conversation flowed easily. I didn't want to seem to into him, but man, the boy is cute.

We talked and talked and then drove around looking for ice cream. I met his parents who seem fun and all of his 5 crazy dogs. We had a quick little peck of a kiss when I left. Awwww. I don't want to get to excited just yet because I don't want to get crushed, but there is something there. He is supposed to come up to Boston two weeks. Yay!

On to Delaware. I didn't get in until after 12:30 (sorry Erika!) even though I hauled ass on the Jersey Turnpike. Saturday morning we all woke up to rain. We decided to still head into Philadelphia, and lucky for us, it never rained. Just stayed overcast. We hit the zoo which was fun.


After the zoo we went to the King of Prussia mall which was GINORMOUS. Right after walking through the front doors we were confronted by some man that was bleeding heavily from his foot region. As we walked into the mall more there were puddles upon puddles of his blood. It made me nauseous. We stopped in a few stores but were all so pooped we took off for dinner. Joe and Erika took me to this awesome Asian restaurant. We went back to their house and I tortured them with watching Twilight! It's an obsession.

Sunday we just hung out around the house. It was so much fun catching up on everything that has been going on in these past years. So glad I went down and I can't wait to hang out again! Micah is just to adorable for words and such a good baby!

Seriously, how am I not getting dates? :)

This week went by fast, it was nice not having school but back to the grind this week.

I'm on week 4 of my running program and I'm feeling SO much better. It's amazing what a little exercise will do in my life. I've even gained weight, but I don't really care. I can tell my clothes are fitting better and I just feel better overall. Today was a tough run though. I made it all the way through but felt like I was going to pass out when it was over.

I can't wait for this weekend! I'm going to see Erika, her husband and her adorable little boy. I think the last time I saw Erika was probably a good 4 years ago, maybe even longer. It'll be nice to catch up. I'm also stopping in NJ on the way down to meet Nick for dinner, which I'm also very excited about. We'll see where it goes.

This weekend was lovely, went by way to fast though. Saturday I went for a jog and then drove to Hyde Park to hang out with Dustin. His mother was their and I absolutely adore her! She brought out so much food, drinks and chatted. It was nice. We watched the movie Lost Highway. I'm not one to usually hate a movie, but it's official, I hated that movie. The movie itself was good, suspenseful, creepy, but it had multiple stories going on and never really closed them or brought them together.

Sunday I went to Southie for the St. Patrick's Day parade. Betsy invited me over to Marks apartment and we partied on the roof deck. From the roof you could see the parade which was fun. No drinking for me which was a bummer, I was the only sober one their. It was nice to catch up with Betsy and hang out with her friends. I met a few new cool people as well. I had to babysit Maddie later that day so I headed out after the parade, making my way through all the drunks on the T. Always fun.

Still job hunting. Still anxious. I hate it but I'm trying not to dwell on it. What happens, happens.

Just last week I was saying to my mom that life was going great, too great. I told her that I was expecting something bad to happen. Boy, I was right. She just called to tell me that the dog died. Just because this week couldn't get any better.

Well, I guess you can add me to the list of people who have lost their job in this economy. Ironically enough, it isn't because of the economy. When L goes on maternity leave they won't be able to pay me as much and her mom is retiring from teaching and will be able to watch the babes during the day. I would still be able to watch N two days a week but financial I can't do that so the job hunt is on.

It gets me a little teary eyed thinking about it. I have come to think of my employers more like my family. I come in every morning and chat/gossip with them. They are my friends, and I'm not just hired help. I've been watching these boys since they were just little blobs laying on the carpet, and now they are big kids. Granted, they are the slowest walkers known to mankind but that will be my mission before I leave. So, it's going to be sad to leave and it's a little scary knowing that I won't have a job after April. I started putting in resumes last night as soon as I found out. Not having a job is not an option. I have bills and rent and nowhere to go if I can't afford them.

Everything will work out though and I just need to stay positive. With school, finals and life it's just a little overwhelming.

Random picture taken at Wait St. last weekend. Seems appropriate now.

Since my lovely lovely mother sent me money to take my friends out to dinner, I made her happy and took them out last night. We walked from Mission Hill to the South End at had dinner at the Beehive. The weather was amazing, so nice for walking around Boston. The restaurant was cool, it was in a basement with exposed brick and chandeliers. Heather, Dan, Julian and I each got awesome food, mine being a very rare burger. It was delicious. They also have frites which are a type of french fry that were soooo good.

After dinner we decide to walk to the North End to get cupcakes. If we are going to eat shitty we might as well eat really shitty, right? While walking there the city was re-enacting the Boston Massacre. Apparently they do this every year, except none of us knew about it. HA. We also watched break dancers for a bit who were insane.

For cupcakes we stopped at LuLu's and got 4 different flavor cupcakes to split. Carrot (me, still on that kick), orange creme, vanilla and oreo. Splitting them 4 ways was so fun, we each got to try all the different flavors and ended up only eating one cupcake. It started raining as we were sitting in the park so we started walking back. We got a wild to go see the Watchmen so we walked to the Common and hunkered down for the longest. movie. of. my. life. Good thing it was entertaining!

After the movie we then made the walk home. My body was so tired by the time I got home, I was a happy little clam when I got to crawl in bed.

Nothing to terribly exciting happening around here these days. I applied this week to Urban Outfitters after having a mini meltdown with Heather. It's hard living so far way from your friends and family and I've had a hard time meeting new people. I'm grateful for the few friendships I have but when they are busy I sometimes feel lonely. She suggest getting a weekend retail job to meet people and make a little extra cash so that's exactly what I'm trying to do. I realize in this economy it's not going to be the easiest but we'll try.

I also had a random hang out session today with a boy from my computer class. He came up to me after class and asked if I could help him. I sat with him for like 20 minutes getting some files in order and then he asked if I wanted to hang out after school. I said sure, why not. We went and grabbed some coffee's, took a little walk and then went back to the college to play frisbee. So random! It was fun, something to shake up the usual routine week.

She came to the daycare nearly the exact same day I started working. She was adorable and all the teachers were in love, for all of about 15 minutes. That's when she started screaming. Nobody had the time,energy or patience to try and calm her down so I took on that task. What a task it was and thus our relationship began.

Her parents went up to Betsy one day asking if she was available to babysit, she said she would look at her calendar and let them know. She already had something scheduled that day so I offered to watch her. The tattoos might have freaked them out at first but they agreed.

I've been babysitting her for about 2 years now and I can't believe the time is going that fast. Her family and I have become good friends and talk regularly. When I was going through the break up with Bob the mom let me have a good cry before they left and even offered for me to stay there if I needed to. It's nice to have people whom act like my adopted family since mine is so far away. I babysat her last Saturday and she is growing up to be such a big girl. It was surreal, she seemed like a little 12 year old walking around. I can't wait to see what their new baby is going to be and hopefully the fun will just continue.

Last night Heather and I decided to throw a cupcake party, as part of our 'Anti-Valentine's Day' protest.



We had so many cupcakes it was insane. All I ate for 24 hours was cupcakes, way to go eating healthy! We talked, ate and watched youtube videos of insane things. It started out as watching Barnatt brother videos and progressed into weird, gross and things I've never even thought about. I'd say the night was a success.

This whole eating healthy thing is HARD. I'm really trying though and today I did really well. This weekend, eh, not so much. I blame it on my period. I feel like I could eat an elephant and not be satisfied.

Today was a wonderful day in the state of Massachusetts. It hit 50 degrees. My body did a little happy dance called a 4 mile way through the streets of Boston. It was windy, a little drizzly but dammit, it was 50 degrees. I took my camera with me but wasn't inspired to take a single picture. It's a little ugly right now, I think that's why.

After I got home I started planning Nicole's Baby Shower. I'm getting really excited, I think it is going to turn out really cute. This evening I dragged Conor to go see Coraline with me. We had some awesome 3d glasses which they just happened to charge an extra $2.50 a ticket for. The movie was really amazing. A little creepy and dark, just what I like.

That's it. This 5 pounds has got to come off. I've given myself a month, hopefully shorter (ha!) to do it. I'm starting tomorrow. Waking up at 4 am to take Heather to the airport and getting a coffee for myself is a great way to start. 130, here I come!

Nicole posting a new blog made me think, I really need to do that more often. Even if my life is nothing but school and work, I really enjoy looking back and seeing what I've been doing. Heather isn't helping either because when I know she is going to be around I don't take my camera. I need to not let that stop me and just accept the fact that she blows me out of the water and I can still appreciate her pictures while posting my lame attempts here.

I'm starting this post at 10pm on a Sunday night which is insane because I need to be up very early. I have finally moved into Boston and am totally in love. Walking around the city this weekend made me realize that this is where I have needed to be. Living in the suburbs was rather hard for me because I didn't grow up there. I didn't no anybody or any cool spots to hang out. I couldn't go to the townie bar and see all my old classmates, it didn't work like that.

Friday night I went out with Heather and her friend who came into town from San Diego. His name was Andy and if she wasn't totally smitten by him, than I am. He was funny, charming, and a gentlemen. We started off getting pizza at Joseph's. We sat and talked and made weird pizza eating faces while the people waiting for the T outside watched. We hopped on the T and made our way into downtown where Heather realized she didn't bring her I.D. Off to the Hard Rock Cafe for drinks it was. We drank, I went to the bathroom and had a menu, glasses and straws miraculously jump in my purse and then we went to the North End.

We grabbed some cannolis, eclairs and cupcakes from some place that I can never remember the name too. After taking some romantic pictures, all for the sake of the shot, we sat and fed each other our treats. The whole night we had been trying to get Andy's friend to come join us so I could have someone to mack on but the boy chickened out so it was only us three. After realizing we were being ditched we headed to the karaoke bar where we finagled in without having to pay a cover, took a shot and listed to 'She's a Super Freak' by Andy. He was amazingly good. Andy then wanted to take naked pictures on the Charles River but after we all realized we were nowhere near drunk enough, he opted for clothed ones instead.

We walked through the common, over the bridges and the tree lit streets. It was incredibly romantic and I'm sure I ruined every shred of it for them. It's what I do best! We came upon this drunk guy who was walking into cars on Comm. Ave and decided we needed to stay with him until the police came to make sure he didn't get run over. We waited and waited, he fell in puddles and tried to walk away. Right before the cops showed up he got a burst of energy, hopped in a cab and remembered where he lived. We were talking to his wife on the phone and she didn't seem too thrilled with him. I wonder how that turned out.

We decided to catch a cab home at that point because my toes were frozen from chasing him around puddles. Once back to the apartment we all snuggled in bed and finished the chocolate cupcake. In the morning Andy made us amazing cupcakes and we said good-bye. I hope more weekends like this come my way.

Bone tired

Mike and Lauras wedding was absolutely beautiful. The ceremony overlooked the cliffs of Cape Cod Bay. I shed a few tears during the ceremony, which is good for me! Usually I ball my eyes out. Laura looked stunning, so pretty.

The reception was also great.

I danced to much
I ate to much
I drank I don't know how much

I didn't take my camera but others did. Hopefully they send me pictures because I saw some funny ones.

Worlds end

I needed to get out of the house, and have needed to, since summer started. I didn't want this summer to pass by like last. I decided to find someplace to hike close by and Worlds end was the winner.

I packed BoB into the car, told him we were headed to Hingham and off we went. We stopped at McDonalds for a bite to eat before we left and we stood in line for 20 minutes. Slowest. McDonalds. Ever.

We arrived, without fighting!, and walked the 3 mile loop. It was muggy and hot but we had a really nice time. There were no mountains to climb which meant no complaining from me.

The hike around Worlds end was 3 miles. On clear days you can see Bostons skyline which I would have liked to get some pictures of but since it was hazy we couldn't see it.

Finally, got out of the house! Now if I could just convince him to go to Marthas Vineyard.

Happy 4th of July

We went down to Plains Park last night to go watch the fireworks. Nicole and I decided we needed to get there early because it was going to be packed. We walked over at 5 o'clock even though the fireworks didn't start until 10. Around 6:30 a big rain cloud came in and gave us a little shower. It went away and the show went on as planned.

Rotary

We had a 'photoshoot' today. I think they came out pretty well. Mark even decided to join us because he knew it was going to be awkward. Wasn't awkward for me but I know when I get my picture taken it is.









I had a lot of fun and I hope they like them!

Trying to figure shit out

Well hmpf.

That didn't work.

Any of the 2 people that read my blog know how to disable being able to click on a picture to see it full size?

Life is pretty boring right now. Boring in a good way though. I'm working my three days a week, being lazy the other two and waiting not so patiently until I can start my college courses.

Work is going great. The two little boys I am nannying for are an absolute blast. It is so nice to actually have parents that respect me and take my time and effort for granted. They actually appreciate what I am doing for them which is quite a shock. It makes going to work so much easier.

So...life is good. I can't complain.

Couch to 5k

Today I started the third week of the couch to 5k program. It sucked. I did it though!

Hopefully by the end of this thing I'll be able to run a full thirty minutes. Right now I can't even fathom that. 3 minutes just about kills me.

BoB is going with me on Thursday to see if he can keep up. Of course he'll be able to keep up. He can run a 5k in like two steps.

We have $10 riding on it though. I am not so secretly hoping he sucks.

The perfect plot for a horror film

On Friday (the 13th) my friends Heather, Nicole and I set out to go take pictures of an abandoned warehouse.

I had never done this before but was rather excited. We parked at a local VFW and walked over to the warehouse. Getting into the building was not hard since there were various openings everywhere.
Inside the warehouse was amazing. There were old piles of checks and papers just left around along with boxes of cortisone 10. The warehouse itself was huge, with big windows and lots of light.


Then came the fun part. Right after I clicked this picture, I saw the end of a cop car drive by.
I might have had a little heart attack, okay, a rather large heart attack. All 3 of us ran over to the side of the building and crouched down. We could see a sliver of the cop car outside and watched where it was going. At one point we thought it left so we started taking pictures again but it started looping back around. He paced back and forth in his cop car and idled for a few minutes. Finally he left. And I died.
The rest of the time I was there I was paranoid he was going to return, but he didn't.

The next time I go someplace abandoned I'm bringing diapers and Valium.

Oh Hey Blog

I haven't seen you in a year.

Lots has changed and I need a new name.

In Lincoln, Nebraska my car decided it didn't want to go any further. Pretty sucky considering we still had half of the United States to go. $450 later...we got on our way. Ouch to my checking account. We stopped at the Mall of America and spent some more money. That mall is amazing. All of my favorite four stores wrapped up in one little place=heaven. We stopped in Chicago as well. This is the one picture I took of that city:

IT. WAS. SO. COLD. we couldn't walk around. Kinda sad really. We spent less than an hour eating lunch of got charged $12 for parking. Chicago parking sucks. I hope to go back when it's warmer and see a taping of the Jerry Springer Show.

As I mentioned before I didn't have 'real' license plates. On the day we passed through upstate New York all the cops were on the road. We even had one following us for awhile but never pulled us over. Weird. Now we are home safe, my car has real plates and I still don't have a job.
The job searching continues.

We made it back from the road trip one week ago! In one piece! The car didn't fair to well, but that's another story.

I've been super busy applying for jobs(don't have one yet), trying to get my car registered and inspected, paiting, blah blah blah. More to come when the brain starts functioning again.

We just completed Day Three of our road trip!

Day one was Oregon to California. Going through the Redwood forest was awesome! We saw some pretty big trees but of course my camera battery was dead and the boys' camera needed batteries. We did get some pictures of the coast though.



The second day was California through Nevada.



Today we went through the rest of Nevada, Utah and are now stopped in Wyoming. We stopped in Salt Lake to see the Morman temple. We were sure out of place! Two freaks looking a church getting stared at by the missionaries.

Now we are just seeing how long it takes us to get pulled over because our temporary plates are homemade. I don't know if thats legal or not. We have all the documentation and stuff, but since we didn't buy the car from the dealer we didn't get those nice temporary plates.

I just sold my mp3 player on Ebay. What a chore that was. They make you choose a category to put it under and I guess I clicked the wrong one...even though that's the one they told me to pick. After 2 days of it being listed, they took it down. So I tried again! And this time it worked. I remember selling things on Ebay before and it wasn't this difficult. I always wonder what happens to those Ebay Typos. I'm sure you could find a damn good deal on something if the person who listed it misspelled the listing. Typos.cc let's you put in the item that you're looking for and it will come up will all the listings along with all the misspelled listings. Pretty neat if you ask me. When I have money and I'm actually able to afford something I'll be sure to use it.

I'm picking my boyfriend up from the airport tomorrow. I'm so excited! I haven't seen him for 2 weeks, and thats a long time. I hate talking on the phone so are phone conversations during this time have been pointless to say the least. I'm doing nothing so I tell him about my weird dreams, like white spiders attacking me from underneath a deck. I'm strange. Then on Friday morning we are starting our road trip! First stop...Eureka, California to see the Redwoods and one more sunset on the West Coast before we head back to our sunrises on the East Coast. I'm looking forward to going home though. PLUS...my roomates sister and my friend had a baby yesterday whom I'm dying to see. I saw one picture of Jackson already and he's beautiful! Usually newborns are not that attractive, but he's a looker!

I have super sensitive skin. I can't use very many facial cleansers because they actually burn my skin. Even 'sensitive' ones. Now that it's winter my face has become very dry. I've tried lotions, but nothing seems to be working. My mom gave me this really nice lotion to try. She used it but didn't like the smell. I would put it on my face and it would turn my face bright red and burn. It hurt so bad I had to scrub it off, but the next day my face felt great! Come to find out after I read the bottle she had given me hand soap, not face lotion. Ha.

Now that I'm headed back to New England in a couple of days I figured I'm going to have to try something new. Humidifiers actually help, so maybe I'll try one of those. They also help with dry throats and cracked lips, which I have also been blessed with the past few months. Thanks Winter! Here's a complete guide to buying a house humidifier. I'll be sure to shop around when I do buy one.

I'm in Oregon. Translation=theres nothing to do. Just sitting here. Doing nothing. Waiting for my road trip to start in one week!

Going to see my sister on Friday, let's see if I can survive the couple of days I'm there. It shall be interesting.

Before I said that my Vegas trip almost didn't happen. Three days before I was supposed to fly down there I got a text message from my friend saying that she had been kicked out of her house, and had nowhere for me to stay. She didn't know what to do and thought that I couldn't come.



I called her and got the story. Apparently she got a tv for a Christmas gift and didn't act thankful enough so her mom flipped out and told her she needed to leave. I told her not to worry about it and I'm sure her mom needed a day to cool down and then everything would be fine.



The next day she e-mailed me and told me that her mom was still flipping out and that I shouldn't come. I didn't know what to do. I had a plane ticket to Las Vegas, so I had to go. I called my boyfriend and he said that if things didn't work out than he would fly down and be with me. What a guy, eh? I cried. I was looking forward to see my friend. I hadn't seen her since high school, three years ago. I looked into hotels and hostels...I was going to Vegas. I had to.



About two hours after her e-mail she called me and told me nevermind. Her family is crazy and I can still come. I'm assuming her mom just wanted to scare her a little, but that wasn't cool. So I went and we had a blast. I thought that since we hadn't seen each other in three years things would be awkward, but they weren't.



And if you have the chance, go see this show. It was amazing!

My friend has this boy whom is an ass. They were dating for all of last year I think and then he decided to just be friends with her, friends with benefits though. I told her she needed to stop that. My momma always said why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. My friend called this boy on New Years Eve to tell him Happy New Years and he told her that he was making out with some other girl and hung up on her. In fact, he wasn't making out with anybody, he just thought that would be a funny joke. She cried the rest of the night and the next day she wasn't very happy. I'm now going to send her to an Online Dating service. I want her to shove it in this guys face that she can do way better. He's an ass and she deserves more, she just can't see that.

Las Vegas was awesome. I don't know what else to say. Just walking around the strip could keep me entertained for days. The first night I got there we went to the top of the Strastophere. The view up there was amazing but since I'm afraid of heights and rides I didn't have the balls to ride anything up there. The second day we tried to go to the Hoover dam but it was so crowded we turned around and went to the the m&m factory instead. We stayed home that night and rented movies, preparing ourselves for the crazy new years eve. On New Years Eve my friend had the hook-up and we got to stay in a free hotel suite and the SunCoast. The Suncoast isn't on the strip but it overlooks the strip was rocked. We bowled and drank margaritas and then close to midnight we went to the room, drank champagne and watched the fireworks. They also brought a cake for me since it was my birthday, 20 years old. eek. eek. eek. We didn't go to crazy though because right after midnight my friend has boy troubles which ruined her evening. Stupid boys. On New Years we walked around the strip and then went to the Cirque du Soleil show Love. The show was sooooo GOOD. I would go see it again and again and again. I didn't want it to end but it did and now I'm back in Mass...and I haven't eaten breakfast because I need to go buy food. HA. Being a grown up sucksss.

I'm leaving for Las Vegas tomorrow to celebrate New Years/my birthday. This leg of the trip almost didn't happen but I'll tell that some other time. Wish me luck.

A huge weight has now been lifted off my shoulders. The stress is just gone. I'm done! I have been a nanny for 3 years now and I'm finally childless. For once! Now I'm off to Seattle to go enjoy my vacation with my awesome nieces and my Mom...

Ever wonder what your employers are doing while at work? Or your kids? Or yourself? Keystroke logger can help you out. This program records everything that is typed so you can monitor what exactly is going on. Since I don't have employees or children I could use this program for myself. Everytime I sign up for a new website I put in some username and password...but sometimes I forget them. If I had this program I could go back and look to see what my information is. Helpful, really helpful. I should have bought it years ago. It probably works way better than writing all that 'personal' information on slips of paper and shoving them in some drawer.

1 and a half more days of work. GrrrUGhhhhhhhhBlehhhB. I'm done. I gotta little choked up dropping the kids of at preschool today realizing that tomorrow will be my last day to that. They won't be the first ones in line anymore! Uh! I'm always stupidly early and there mom...isn't.

Super excited to fly home for Christmas though and see my Mom who I haven't seen in a year, and her new heart! And to see my nieces who I haven't seen since April!! OHHH..I'm excited. And then Vegas for New Years with my friend from high school who I haven't seen in 3 years. Totally stoked on that one! And we are going to see Cirque du Soeileil with the Beatles. Totally butchered that spelling but I don't care! I'm excited!

The boy and other friends of ours are all going out to dinner tonight. A nice 'dress up' dinner. That means I have to look somewhat presentable and actually brush my hair. I'm working all day though and I will probably only have a whole 15 minutes to get ready, but I'll do my best. I haven't been feeling to happy about myself the past week. Feelings of hate have wandered into my brain. I HATE how fat I am. I HATE IT. And I'm not really that fat, sadly. I hate how I think bad thoughts. It makes me grumpy. I'm going to do my best tonight thought to pretend I look pretty in my dress. It will be hard to think those thoughts though.

Want to build a personal ringtone with a matching Avatar character? Yes! Ha. Check it out here. U-Doo is a new program that let's you do exactly that and then you can e-mail them to yourself or your super cool myspace page. And the first 60 days are free! Now, I just need to go find out exactly what an Avatar is and I'll be all set.

Pictures of NYC. Not much, but enough.
Only 4 more days left of work. I'm angry. I want to be done NOW.

Because I follow rules. cough cough. Here I am disclosing that I do in fact get paid sometimes for posting. It goes to my food, yah know, cause I need to eat. And I'm poor.

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New York was amazing. Again. That city will never cease to amaze me. We walked up and down 5th avenue. What a fucking mess. I've watched videos on t.v. about NYC where the streets were so crowded nobody could move but I never thought it was true until yesterday. 5th Ave. during Christmas season is nuts! We went to Rockafeller center and saw the big tree and all the little ice skaters falling. Other than that we just walked around and looked at shit. And then I came come and started being grumpy because I'm sick and I really just want to sleep and do nothing but when your leaving your job in a week, you really don't have that opportunity.

My host mom asked me to write up a schedule so that she knows what to do when I leave. Pretty sad....she also wanted me to write down what I fed them and such, what the didn't like. Here it is...I didn't go to overboard or to into detail. She'll figure it out.
My not so formal schedule

9-9:30: Finish up breakfast, get kids dressed, pick up dishes
9:30-11: Kids play with toys, read books, color, computer time. (If bath day, give kids bath)
11:Have lunch
11:30:Done with lunch, start packing backpacks, going to the bathroom…ect.
12-2:30: School
2:30-3: Put away things from school, get snack ready
3: Snack time
3-5: Play time, get D off the bus, Go to the 3rd floor, Play outside, read books
5: Dinner
6: Pajamas
7: Bed

Lunch Ideas:
-Sandwiches. H likes bologna, sometimes ham. O and C like Ham. C likes Cheese, H sometimes
-Yogurt
-Mac n Cheese
-Dino Chicken
-Grilled Cheese

Dinner Ideas:
-Chicken
-Ham
-Spaghetti
-Hot Dogs
-Pizza. H and C white pizza, C’s with broccoli. D and O Amy’s pizza, D’s with broccoli.
H eats carrots, O will eat most veggies but doesn’t really like any.

Anybody need some bar stools? I sure don't, but my host parents sure do! We have this great long counter/bar area....with no bar stools. It collects junk underneath it. Boxes, toys, garbage...just No bar stools. Growing up my cousins house had this great downstairs with a built in bar area. We would play down there all day, with the bar stools, and pretending we were running a bar. Great for 10 year olds eh? And when I'm really, really, old and can afford to own my own kitchen table, I want to get one with bar stools instead of chairs. Have you seen those tables that are really high up...yeah, I like those. It makes me feel superior. And then I'd pick out some totally tubular stools and be the talk of the neighborhood. One day.

I haven't been sleeping to well the past week thanks to the outrageous amounts of snot in my nose. Last night wasn't any diff. ( I use diff. because I really don't know how to spell diff. ) This morning though I fell into some awesome sleep. It was soooo good. Until like 7, when I was rudely awakend by the screaming of kids. My host-mom went out last night and I went to bed before she got home, but then I started thinking....maybe she didn't make it home. Maybe the kids are being so fucking loud because she's not there. Then the oldest boys bus came and went and I still noticed his voice downstairs. He missed the bus. Uh oh. Is my host mom awake? Is she home? Why are these fucking kids waking me up! I waited for like another half an hour and finally came downstairs. I turned the corner and noticed a massive pile up of blankets, pillows, sleeping bags, stuffed animals and who knows what else. The kids had brought all the shit downstairs and were 'playing'. My host mom was there too...taking pictures. These kids woke me up, me being two stories above them. Do you think she could've kept them quite, until like 8. Nope. Gosh.

I see cars driving around with plates obviously not from the United States. And since I'm so cool and have totally been to Europe, I know that they are in fact, European. They are usually on cool cars, probably from Europe...but I want one! They are only like $40. Do they count as regular license plate? I don't think so. They would look so rad though on my Ford Contour. Ow! OW! European License plates make a wide selection of these awesome things that you don't really need but are much cooler if you do have them.

Still have the cold! I'm about ready to drop kick my own ass and get this thing out of me. It just keeps getting worse and worse. It's not horrible but bad enough that I wouldn't have gone to school if I was in school. I'm going to NYC this weekend to look at lights and shit and I really hope I'm better by then. I also just got then news that one of the pregnant preschool teachers lost her baby and had to have a hysterectomy. That fucking sucks! It was her second child, a girl, and she was so excited! Every day she would come out and talk about the baby and you could tell she was happy. I feel so bad for her. Words can't describe how shitty that situation is. My thoughts go out to her family.

I'm off to lay on the couch. Hopefully two hours of doing nothing will magically cure my cold.

What I really should be doing on top of all the other stuff I should be doing. Applying to college. Buh. I'll probably do that after I get back from my vacation. Then I'll have to go to FAFSA, fill out some FAFSA forms and get some moolah. FAFSA's online, FAFSA's on the web...FAFSA's everywhere! Can I say FAFSA anymore? FAFSA FASFA FASFA. I've been sick for a week, I can say FAFSA as many times as I want. I'm loopy and haven't slept.

Yah know what makes me feel better when I have a cold besides chicken soup....grilled cheese with tomatos. (tomatoes?) Mmmm. I just learned about this awesome food like a month ago when I was at my friends house. I don't really like tomatos but in grilled cheese it's SO good. Now I'm all hungry again.

Ha. I found what I need. A free online calender at American Greetings. It lets you put in birthdays, anniversaries, concerts...whatever! It can also send you e-mail reminders or text messages. Remember how I missed my nieces birthday like two weeks ago? Well, if I would have done this I wouldn't have missed it. She only turned two though so she won't remember. I'll make it up to her next year. I miss a lot of peoples birthdays. I only remember my own because I was born on New Years and thats easy to remember. My best friend was born on New Years Eve so I don't forget her, but everyone elses...poof. Gone. So I need to sign up for this. It's free and wonderful and it will help me be a better Aunt.

My lingering cold that I've had for the past week is now getting worse. The back of my throat is so sore I don't like to swallow. The sneezes are non-stop. My eyes feel like they are going to burn out of my head. Lovely.

I have a few extra vacation hours (like a whole day) so I asked my Host mom if I could take them today so I could rest and try and get a little better. She said No because shes so busy trying to find this one piece of paper and she needs to get the house ready for a brokers open house tomorrow, which I get to stay home and deal with. Well she found the paper and now shes not doing shit on the house. She's been writing e-mails to her friends and blah blah blah. Only 10 more days of work, Thank God!

My last family had nanny cams. I didn't know about them until my friend came over and said 'Hey, do you know if they ever turn those cameras on?'. What cameras? Haha. She had to point them out to me but after she did I always thought how come I've never seen them before. They are right there. Not hidden or anything. I do think that having some type of camera in your home is a good idea. I also think that if you have people working for you, you should let them know that you do have cameras and they will be recorded. The California family never turned them on when I was there, I don't think. We did use them for when we went on vacations though. Just in case someone broke in while we were gone we would hopefully have some evidence to find the criminals. Theres these Stealth Spy hidden cameras that you can buy that come in all diff. types of shapes. Teddy bears, alarm clocks, plants, smoke alarms...anything. Kinda scary if you ask me. I prefer to know if I'm being taped or not. I don't know if the family I'm working for now has hidden cameras. I hope not, because they could tell that I'm totally supposed to working right now. And that the kids are driving me crazy.

The temperatures in New England are cold. Very cold. Just two days ago it was fairly warm. Warm enough you could wear a light sweater outside and be comfortable. In just a matter of hours the temperature shifted and now it's freezing. I even had to break out some hot cocoa yesterday, which I never do. The boy and I decided to go see a movie last night. Turistas, which makes me never want to travel alone...ever ever ever. We parked pretty far away because the theatre was packed. I decide that it's to fucking cold out and started to run/jog in. I have this weird thing with my ankle and if I land on it a certain way it makes my leg give out. Well that's exactly what happened! I ran like 10 steps, did the little ankle hurt and boom. On the ground on I went. The freezing cold asphalt hurt. But I couldn't stop laughing, cause thats what I do. I skinned my pinky and I think that hurts the worse. The boy couldn't stop laughing either and I'm just glad lot's of little teeny-boppers weren't around to add the to laughter.

Road trip. I'm getting so excited for it! Halfway through I probably won't be to excited anymore. Yah know after seeing Oregon, Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, South Dakota, Minnesota, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York, Connecticut and finally home. There's this site: 50 Travel Sites - courtesy of Luggage Online thats been helping me a lot. One of those 50 sites actually lets you put in your interestes and then it finds shit for you to do along the way! And another one picks out the best nightlife. Hehe. Lot's of other nifty stuff too. The boy is very much a tourist and I would rather just blend in so hopefully we find things that we can both agree on. Like the worlds biggest rubberband, or something equally as cheesy.

I guess you could say that the boy and I are 'dating' now. Again.

Theres just one little problem. The other girl. She still texts him and wants to hang out and do stuff together but I feel weird. She hasn't gotten the hint that it's super awkward when the three of us hang out together. I know the boy feels like a piece of shit for what happened and I just don't like it. But she sees no problem with it.

Last night she texted me asking me what I was doing because she needed to get out of the house. I told her I was going Christmas shopping with the boy and then we were going to watch some awesome drama unfold on the Real World. I didn't invite her. Then I texted her this morning saying sorry about last night...I just feel weird when the three of us hang out together. She wrote me back saying she went to bed early, had nightmares the whole night and now shes going to the gym. She sounded pissed. I don't know what to do. She's leaving in 2 months and she knows nothing more is going to become of her and the boy. What happened, happened...and that's it. I don't like being put in this position.

I don't have my own computer but if I did I would put lots of pretty wallpapers on my desktop. American Greetings has free desktop wallpaper! Free! I love free. And they are actually pretty and not ghetto looking. The wallpapers contain no spyware or adware so you don't have to deal with any of that junk. You can just enjoy your pretty wallpaper. Pick one for Christmas or another one thats just plain cool looking. Such as:

Now if I could just get a nice shiny new laptop to put that pretty wallpaper on. Sigh.

There's this little girl on the west coast who turned 2 on Saturday. And me being the most put together Aunt ever kinda forgot to call her. I'm sorry baby...I love you more than anything, along with your sister. I can't believe your already two! I remember holding your tiny body the day you came home from from the hospital. Seems like yesterday. I'll see you soon my RyRy.

We just sat around the table and told the kids I was leaving. I cried, they didn't. I don't want this year to be another year wasted like it was with my last family. I want to be involved with these kids still. I want to see them grow up and because awesome little dudes. I didn't get that oppurtinity with the family in California, but I want it now. Even if there parents are not always there for them, I want them to know that I will be.

Cranium and Hot Tub party at the boys house tonight.

It's gonna rock.

Sweet baby Jesus. I know I told my family I didn't really want anything for Christmas, but come on! I'm drooling. If you know me or anything about me you know that this bike fits me and my personality. I would ride it ALL. OVER. TOWN.

It's pretty!

They have lots of neato beach bikes and if I was rich I would buy lot's of them! I haven't really been that into bikes because most bikes have boring old shapes and boring old colors. And I'm just not a boring girl. I'm not really much of a bike rider either but after seeing these gas prices and having to fill up, I think I'm might become one. Plus the exercise! Maybe thats how I'll sell the idea to my parents. Buy me a bike and I'll get exercise...and save the enviroment.

I hope santa treats me with one of those next year. I'll even ride it in the snow! I promise! Well probably not the snow, but I would sure as hell ride it in the summer. I'm hardcore like that.

I've been sick for most of the week. 'Tis fun! I haven't really been sick since I've been here and this week it wasn't so bad except for yesterday afternoon when I thought my head was going to pop off from all the congestion.

My host dad was gone for most of the week. (yes!) Things just run WAY more smoothly when he's not here. I don't know why. When he walks in the house everything falls apart. The house turns into a zoo and I don't like zoo's.

Tonight was no different. I told the kids that at 6 we could all sit down, cuddle and watch Rudolph. Perfect easy night. (My host parents are going out for dinner tonight so I can get away with this shit) Host Dad walks in the house at 5:40 and decides that he is going to whip out the fancy saw and start cutting the blocks of wood for the kids' derby race cars. Beh. The house.....it was a zoo. I couldn't get them settled down until 6:45. After he disrupted us he went upstairs and they got ready for dinner. So much for my nice low-key evening with the kiddies. Hmpf.