Tuesday, August 30, 2011

I feel like I have 3480 things going on right now. Emma has a weird skin issue going on.  We thought it might be food allergies but we've eliminated everything but her dog food and she's not getting better :(  She has these little raised white bumps that also make her lose hair around the area.  She looks like a homeless dog. I made an appointment with a new vet this morning ($$$$$$$).  I'm not in love with our old vet.  The office was just chaotic and I was never quite sure what the vet was saying.  This new vet got good reviews on Yelp so I'm just hoping my wallet doesn't see too much damage.

It seems like we can't catch a break when it comes to finances.  Between some asshole hitting my car and just leaving it costing upwards of $1500 to fix, the dog, lawyers, etc, money just drains out of the house. I feel like we are never going to get ahead.  I want to start saving for a condo and there's nothing leftover to save.  What money I will be getting needs to go to next year's travels to Montana for a wedding which I won't miss, even if it means hitchhiking there. 

I've also been feeling the itch to move.  I've moved to different parts of the city ever since I moved to Massachusetts and staying put in our apartment seems weird.  I want to decorate a new space, without the "help" of Matt.  I've never met a guy who was so into "decorating:" and it drives me up the fucking wall.  If he had his choice our apartment would be all gray walls, black furniture and pictures of Scarface.  Sad to say, our apartment is headed that way.  I come home some days to SURPRISE decorating and a plaque of praying hands with x's on them are hanging by my door.  His idea of decorating is putting things on every single way.  No wall can be left blank, some stupid picture has to be affixed to it.  He hates color, I love color.  He hates painted furniture, I love painted furniture.

I think this is why decorating has been so slow going.  We have literally stopped talking to each other a few times because of it. We are also both extremely stubborn.  I'm getting irritated just typing this stuff out, HA. I want him to go away for a few days, me to have an endless flow of cash for to re-decorate while he is gone.  Two apartments is sounding better and better ;)

Friday, August 26, 2011

My friend posted this on facebook this morning and it cracked me up.  I'm not one to repost things but if I ever had to pick one, here it is

"A real woman always keeps her house clean and organized, the laundry basket is always empty. She's always well dressed, hair done. She never swears, behaves gracefully in all situations and all circumstances. She has more than enough patience to take care of her family, always has a smile on her lips, and a kind word for everyone. Post this as your status if you, too, have just realized that you might be a man"

That is SO me.  I am quite possibly the worlds worst housekeeper, among other things.  No, I'm not living in squalor thanks to a neat freak boyfriend but if he wasn't around, things would be slacking. 

I stayed home yesterday to keep the dog company (fo realz) and didn't do a damn thing.  I did take a shower, for which the dog joined me, and made a complete and utter mess.  I cleaned that up, but that was it.  Dishes?  Laundry?  Trash?  Nope. I need to change this.  I don't know if I need to make lists or something or give myself chunks of time, but it needs to happen.   Sometimes I'll get a wild hair up my ass to do something but that's rare.  I also think the dog isn't helping because she's my little shadow so I'm always tripping over her.  She's like a child.  She will be dead asleep on the couch and if she hears me go into another room, even the bathroom, she will wake up and follow me.

We're gearing up for the hurricane now to hit. I've never been in a hurricane so I'm not quite sure what to do but we'll pretend.  Non-perishable foods for vegans are limited and if we lose power all hell might break loose.  My apartment might turn into the Hunger Games, we'll see who survives.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

I'm still here!  Things got a little dicey yesterday but we made it through ;) 

Living in Boston, we are just not used to having earthquakes, nor is our infrastructure.  I was sitting at my desk, up on the fifth floor, and my chair just started swaying.  Very lightly but noticeable.  I looked over at a mirror we have hanging on the wall and it was bumping around.  I asked one of the attorneys if they were feeling the building move and he looked at me like I had 15 heads, but then he felt it.

It lasted about 30 seconds.  No real hard shaking, just some swaying, almost like you are on a boat in waves.  I was hoping they would let us go home early just in the case the building was going to crumble but no such luck.

People from other states (cough, California, cough) have been making fun of us.  I do agree that we went a little overboard but considering the events that have taken place in D.C and NYC, most people don't automatically think earthquake when stuff starts to shake. 

So, to counteract that fact, I challenge California to get 44 inches of snow in a month and then come talk to me ;)

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

I have this weird issue going on with my brain where I feel like life is slipping by so incredibly fast that I can't keep up, yet I keep almost pushing life forward so I can get to the good stuff.

I want to be done with school, I want to buy a condo/house, I want marriage, I want babies, I want to further my career, I want Emma to be a lazy dog, I want to go on vacations and right now most of those are not happening.

Because of these goals of mine, I forget to live in the moment. I rush to work, come home and try to relax, only to do it again the next day. I need to stop and cherish these moments I do have. That sounds so cliche but it's true. I need to appreciate that fact of where I am in my life right now and realize that these are moments I will never get back.  When I eventually do have all of the stuff listed above, I will probably yearn for these days.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Matt had this Saturday off, again.  Working retail he very rarely gets a weekend off but things might be moving more towards that direction, yay!

We took full advantage of this and planned a fun day.

This included some walking, which if you have a child you know that they walk a mere 10 feet and start complaining about how tirrrrrrred they are.  We forged ahead though and eventually made it to our destination.

I saw posters at the train station about a Redbull Cliff Diving competition that was taking place in Boston.  Since there really are no cliffs to dive off of, they rigged a platform off of the ICA (Institute of Contemporary Art).  Jumping from these heights scares the pants off of me and to make matters worse?  Jumping into the Boston Harbor.  No thank you!  We don't get the phrase, "I love that dirty water" for nothing.

(The last two pictures are from redbull.com)

It was very exciting to watch and kind of cool that Boston was the only stop in the mainland US. Other stops included France, Ukraine, Italy, Chile and wee little old Boston. A seemed to enjoy it as well.

I left early to go meet my friend for pedicures and movie going. A was SO pumped when he learned it was going to be GUYS NIGHT.Who knows what those two do during guys night but I'm glad they get to have them every so often. 

My friend and I had our toes done and then ran through Boston to make it to the movie in time.  We barely made it, the theater was jam packed but we still both enjoyed The Help.  I love movies that make you feel inspired to do better and be a better person. We've come a long way as a country and I hope we can keep moving forward.

Sunday I was on my own for most of the day with this little peanut.

We sat at the table and chatted for a bit :).  Matt has a fit with her sitting at the table but she enjoys looking out the window and pretending to be a human. Sometimes she climbs on the table like it's no big deal and that's when we have chat.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Friday. I made it.  For some reason this has been the longest. week. ever.  I think it has to do with the fact that my boss was on vacation last week so we are trying to get caught up on everything this week. We've already had to threaten to call the cops on some guy this morning because he was being a douchenozzle on the phone with me.

Yesterday had a moment of happiness when my boss handed me a check to pay off a parking ticket.  It was so nice.  Maybe I should bring my parking tickets in more often ;).

Moving on to the topic of weddings, they have been on my mind lately.  At least one of my friends is getting married in the next year and I think another one is getting close.  Wedding are everywhere!  I have no idea when I'll be getting married but I was hoping for around 2013, I'll be 26.  OMG.

I was never that little girl who dreamed of getting married with some fancy wedding and perfect guy.  I've always been pretty independent and along the mind-set of if it happens, it happens.  Even after meeting Matt, I was still wishy-washy about the whole idea.  I don't need a piece of paper to tell me I'm committed.  But then my brother and sister both got married and neither one had a big production.  My mom didn't attend either and suddenly, I'm the only one left.

It might be a silly reason to have a wedding but I want my mom to see one of her children get married.  We almost lost her a few years ago and I think it would be something special for her.  I'm not against the idea of marriage and now that I've come to terms with the fact that I will have a wedding, someday, I'm getting more into it. Pinterest also hasn't helped this newfound idea.  I've found so many ideas I love and think I have a pretty good grasp on what I want my wedding to look like.  I've shared some of this Matt and he seems to be somewhat on board so I'm not officially crazy, yet.

I want to do a simple backyard wedding with hanging lights, friends, good food and some dancing.  I hope something like this can keep the costs down and still be a memorable event. Now I'm getting excited and my ring finger is itchin', and we also need to find a backyard.

We are having some friends over for dinner tonight, will be seeing some "cliff" diving off of the ICA tomorrow, pedicures and going to see The Help for me and hopefully some snoozing on Sunday.  6 more hours of work to go, I can do it.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Maybe I should change my blog name to Bitch and Moan.  That's what journals are used for, right?  That's what I used mine for anyways. 

I slept like shit last night.  Emma woke me up around 12:30 am with her whines and I looked to smack Matt to make her go get her but he wasn't there.  I stumbled out of bed expecting him to be on the couch but he was not. The TV was on, the lights were on, but nobody was home.  I threw some pants on and took the dog outside and tried calling him but he didn't pick up.  Would this raise your blood pressure?  It raised mine.  I know that sometimes he goes to CVS at all hours of the night because he can't sleep and I figured that's where he was (it was) but it still gets me on high alert and then I can't sleep.

This morning I woke up, trying to be a bit happier.  Took Emma for a walk, who by the way has been bat shit crazy the past few days because it's been raining and she hasn't been able to go play, grabbed a coffee and headed to work. 

When I get to work I like to take a few minutes to get settled, turn my computer on, get everything running and finish loose ends from the day before.  It really grates on my nerves when I walk in and my boss is on my ass even before I sit down. That's what happened today and I wanted to walk right back out the door.

Anyways.  I met one of Matt's oldest friends last night.  I was nervous all day yesterday and then when the plans changed last minute regarding her visit, I about came unhinged.  I am such a plan freak and for things to change, on top of the anxiety of meeting his friend about pushed me over the edge.  I made it through though and was pleasantly surprised.  She was extremely nice and we had a lot of fun chatting, even while Matt left us alone for over an hour to go pick up our takeout they forgot to put in the bag.

We ended the night with Teen Mom in which I laughed throughout the whole episode because Bentley is the cutest damn thing on this planet.  The whole conversation about him being on Maci and then Maci asking him if he would like to be peed on cracked me up.  I'm still laughing about it.

Monday, August 15, 2011

I love taking pictures and wish I could take pictures everywhere I go but I feel awkward.  I'm not sure if I'm the only one.  I go out with friends and whipping out my huge clunker of a camera to take a shot of our beers just seems weird. I wish I could do it though!  Maybe I should get over it.

Friday night I went out with my friend Kristin.  She used to work with me at my old job and we were cubicle buddies.  When you spend 8+ hours a day sharing a cubicle with someone, you either love them or hate them.  I love her.  We had a lot of fun together and made that job somewhat more entertaining and bearable. She moved up here from Maryland to be with her boyfriend and now they are both moving back.  It makes me sad when good friends come into your life and then just as quickly, they go away.   I know we'll continue to stay friends and hopefully one day I can visit her down in Baltimore or DC or wherever she ends up living.

We had a beer, a very tall beer filled with blueberries, and tried to watch some football.  We gossiped about our old workplace (my god, does that place run full of crazies), talked about reality tv and life.  After our beers at Tavern in the Square (TITS, heh) we walked over to the Model. Kristin had never been there and everybody should experience that place at least once in their life. There were about 8 people sitting at the bar and as soon as we opened the door they all just stared at us. Nice and awkward!  Just how I like things.  We got another drink and sat down when a whole gaggle of boys whom I used to hang/make out with/do their hair with came in.  One of them used to be room-mates with my old roommate, its all very intertwined and weird.  Boston is extremely small so walking around you are sure to bump into someone you know, good or bad.  We talked with them for a bit and then hit the road.  Staying too late at the Model is bound to get you in trouble.

Saturday we dropped A off with Matt's mom and decided to take that opportunity and go to lunch and a movie!  On a Saturday!  Since we've been dating I don't think we've been able to do that.  We got to enjoy our lunch at My Thai without having to entertain a 5 year old with chopsticks.  We went and saw Horrible Bosses, which was pretty funny.  It was raining Sunday so I just puttered around the apartment and took Emma on 3489 walks.  I need to buy a treadmill for her to walk on.

This week should be busy, I'm excited.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Feeling pretty good today.  Have my coffee in hand, listening to Bon Iver on Pandora, the weather is gorgeous outside and it's Friday!  Hopefully my bosses keep with the them of letting us out early. 

I recently finished reading The Help and can't wait to go see the movie but now I needed another book to start.  My co-worker passed these on to me and I've just started the first one but I'm already seeing that it's going to be good.

I'm going out with an old-coworker tonight for some drinks and football (ha).  She is moving back to Maryland in a few weeks so we need to get our hang-outs and gossip in before she leaves :(. 

The rest of the weekend is up in the air.  I would tell you what I would like to do but it always changes.  I wanted to go to the fair but the boys had other plans.  A may be hanging out with Meme, Matt's mom, so Matt and I might hit the movies.  It's going to be good though, I know that!

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

I'm getting the tattoo itch, bad.  For the past four years I have been steadily getting tattooed trying to finish my sleeve and since it's finished, I haven't been tattooed in a year.

I read some blogs today about peoples new tattoos and it's happening.
Sometimes I get the itch for babies but the itch for tattoos is more attainable.

I have this amazing idea for my next sleeve (or, I think it's amazing) but I don't want to share because I don't want people to steal it.  That's really lame, I know.  I've had the idea in my head for awhile now and some of my real life friends know it but I'll keep it under wraps until I get started.

My first sleeve just kind of happened.  I knew I wanted 4 pin up girls and they took up a big chunk of my arm but the background took me forever to decide.  I threw around the idea of flowers or a geometric pattern but I didn't love those ideas.

I don't remember how the idea came to be but a lightbulb when off one day and I decided to get postcards from various states I've either lived in or visited. I love traveling.  If I could not work and just travel the world, I would do it in a heartbeat.

I got the postcards from a set that the postal service put out.  They are actually stamps and somewhat vintage looking. 

I don't have any good pictures of my sleeve all the way complete, I should probably do that.  I love it though.  My artist also told me it was one of the most original sleeves he's worked on and also that he will never do postcards again! They were so intricate and came out awesome but they were a lot of effort. 

I can't imagine not having my tattoos.  They are a part of me now and I can't wait to add more.  I can't wait to be that little old lady with the wrinkly colorful skin who has grandkids crawling all over her.  I'll have stories to tell and no regrets.

Monday, August 08, 2011

Humidity and bangs do not mix.
Bad hair days and Mondays also do not mix.

I don't know why I bother getting ready in the morning when the humidity is disgusting outside.  I walk to the train and take the subway to work and by the time I get here I look like I've just walked through the Amazon all weekend. 

My boss is gone for the week so I thought I was going to have a nice little break.  NOPE!  Pleadings, drafts, title orders, and the like were all dumped on my lap.  Happy Monday!

This week will be better though, I promise myself that.  Maybe I'll just start wearing bags over my hair to work, we'll see.

This weekend was alright considering melt-down-city I had on Friday.  We (actually A) had a movie night with Mario Brothers, Matt and I talked. We puttered around the apartment, went to Target and bought a shelf system too big for the space (go us!), and I cleaned.

I was supposed to hit some thrift stores yesterday with a friend but mother nature was being a bitch again and it was pouring rain.  Walking around in the city while it dumps buckets is not really that fun.

I did do a little window shopping online and found this beauty:

I love cameo rings, and I've always been obsessed with mini things so I had to buy it. I think it's going to be my daily wearer.  I'm not a big jewelry person but I love throwing on a good ring now and then. I can't wait for it to get here!

Friday, August 05, 2011

What a day. 

What a day.

I wasn't involved in Matt's life until A was 3 years old.  His life was kind of a mess before he met me.  Honestly. I pretty much walked into a broken life and tried to pick up the pieces.  I'm a "fixer".  I think I've learned that about myself.

It hasn't been an easy road. I would be lying if I said it had. I think a lot of people in my situation would have walked through that door and walked right on back out.  But I stayed.  I loved them, even if they were messy. 

Matt's ex puts a lot of strain on our relationship. I don't like discussing too many details regarding her and I though things were going well but today opened my eyes again.  I was sitting in Copley Square at lunch swearing like a sailor with tears streaming down my face.  I'm sorry tourists.  You probably don't hear those words at home.

Sometimes I want to run away.  The thought of dealing with this for another 13+ years makes my brain twitch.  I hope when A grows up he realizes how much we fought for him.  The thousands of dollars spent on going to court.  The many tears and arguments.  All for him, all because we care and we want to fight for him. 

I have a feeling the next few months are going to bring change.  It may not be change that Matt and I like, but we think it's going to be best for A.

and because she makes me smile...

Thursday, August 04, 2011

Nothing like waking up in the morning, taking your dog for a stroll to the park and then have her rolling around in dog shit.  AM I RITE?

Why DOG, WHY? 

I didn't have time to give her a bath because I'm a horrible dog mommy who goes to work and leaves her all alone.  She's confined to her crate (the guilt, it kills me) so as not to completely dismantle our apartment.  I think I'm going to take her to the ocean tonight and the ocean can give her a bath. 

Tuesday, August 02, 2011

I did something today that I haven't done in a long time.  I bought myself new clothes.

It seems like a mish-mash of things but I wanted pieces to compliment other things I already own.  And since I'm tattooed, I need to wear long sleeves at work. That means I need a lot of cardigans and cute sweaters.  I also want to hit up some thrift stores and add even more to my wardrobe and not break the bank.

I felt so guilty pushing that buy button but it needed to be done.  I spend so much on clothes for A and toys for the dog (that she destroys in 4 seconds), that I very rarely spend money on myself. 

I also sent a check to the Boston PD for parking tickets that totaled more than those clothes up there.  Barf.  Talk about retail therapy.

Monday, August 01, 2011

I grew up in Montana, in a small town, with this as my backyard.

After being kicked out of my house at 17, I moved to California for a year to be a nanny.  After that year was over and not entirely loving California, I hopped on a plane with three suitcases and made my way to Boston.

I left everything behind.  Friends, family, memories, my home.  I had never even set foot in this state before I moved here and didn't know a single person.

The first year was hell.  But after that first year I started to meet people and gain friendships.  I started going on adventures and doing things that would never be possible if I had stayed in Montana. I'm one of those people who have a few close friends and some acquaintances.  I was quite shy before I moved her and had to open up a lot.

I cherish my friendships that I do have.  I want to be supportive of them, happy for them, cry with them and laugh, all while going through this crazy adventure.  Do I make mistakes sometimes in my friendships?  Of course, I'm not perfect.  Friendships take effort, just like any other relationship and with everyone being so busy in life, it's hard to make time for everyone. 

Last year I had a falling out with one of my friends.  She was one of my first friends in Massachusetts.  She graciously let me live with her after my year of nannying was done.  I was there when she got engaged, was a part of her wedding, was there for the birth of her son, and then it was all gone. 

Out of the blue about a week ago she e-mailed me and we went and grabbed dinner on Saturday night.  I was a little apprehensive, but dinner was lovely.  We got caught up on each other's lives, laughed a bit, and things just flowed like they used to. I'm hoping we can put the past behind us and move forward because I do value her friendship and I hope she values mine.