just another story

My friend posted this on facebook this morning and it cracked me up.  I'm not one to repost things but if I ever had to pick one, here it is

"A real woman always keeps her house clean and organized, the laundry basket is always empty. She's always well dressed, hair done. She never swears, behaves gracefully in all situations and all circumstances. She has more than enough patience to take care of her family, always has a smile on her lips, and a kind word for everyone. Post this as your status if you, too, have just realized that you might be a man"

That is SO me.  I am quite possibly the worlds worst housekeeper, among other things.  No, I'm not living in squalor thanks to a neat freak boyfriend but if he wasn't around, things would be slacking. 

I stayed home yesterday to keep the dog company (fo realz) and didn't do a damn thing.  I did take a shower, for which the dog joined me, and made a complete and utter mess.  I cleaned that up, but that was it.  Dishes?  Laundry?  Trash?  Nope. I need to change this.  I don't know if I need to make lists or something or give myself chunks of time, but it needs to happen.   Sometimes I'll get a wild hair up my ass to do something but that's rare.  I also think the dog isn't helping because she's my little shadow so I'm always tripping over her.  She's like a child.  She will be dead asleep on the couch and if she hears me go into another room, even the bathroom, she will wake up and follow me.

We're gearing up for the hurricane now to hit. I've never been in a hurricane so I'm not quite sure what to do but we'll pretend.  Non-perishable foods for vegans are limited and if we lose power all hell might break loose.  My apartment might turn into the Hunger Games, we'll see who survives.