It doesn't appear that this year I will be sending out Christmas cards or getting a Christmas tree. 

The weeks are just flying by and I can't seem to get my crap together. By now, even if we did take pictures, order prints, etc for the cards, by the time people got them, it would too late.  I'm also not sure if the hassle of a tree is worth it.  Sigh.

We won't have A for Christmas morning and will probably open gifts at Matt's moms house so he won't miss anything.  It does make me a little sad though but I literally don't have the energy or mental capacity to try and fit those tasks in. 

Accounting is in full gear and the final is on the 19th.  I can't wait for it to be over. Maybe next year when my school load doesn't stress me out completely, holiday traditions will resume. (fingers crossed)

I have been doing some holiday shopping though and am probably about half done.  All of it online, checking multiple websites to get the best deals, it's been fun. I scored a black Wii for A for $99.  He has one at his Mom's house (it seems like he has every toy under the sun there) but I'm hoping he still gets really excited about it. I'm also stoked because now we will be able to watch Netflix in the living room.  Win Win.

I really love holidays.  I love spending time with family, even if it's not mine.  Matt's family has welcomed me with open arms and this is my third Thanksgiving with them.  There's 4 siblings total, and their kids, so the environment is always fun and exciting with lot's of laughing and poking fun at each other.

I woke up yesterday and took Emma to daycare.  She was not invited to Thanksgiving and I wanted her to be able to get out and exercise a bit before we left her home. I came home with a coffee and set to work on my vegan pumpkin whoopie pies.  They turned out great!  I may have eaten three already today. Matt tried his hand at individual apple pies but ended up stabbing them all with a fork and throwing them in the trash, guess they didn't turn out.

We left around 1 for his moms and sat in traffic for like 2 hours.  There is always always always traffic going out of the city but it was pure torture yesterday. We finally made it, cooked some more, ate some great food and played with a cute baby.  And for those people, like my Aunt, who think I eat only lettuce  for meals, take a look at that plate of food.  Mmmmm, it's making me hungry again.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, as if you needed a reminder, but holy shit.

I'm in charge of making vegan pumpkin whoopie pies, of which I have yet to buy the ingredients for.  Good thing my boyfriend works at a grocery store!  How convenient.  Last time I tried to bake something this past summer, it ended with me in tears and a cake in the garbage.  I'm crossing my fingers it goes better.

I have so much to be thankful for.  Of course the usual family, friends, jobs, homes and sometimes I forget how lucky I am.  I don't have much but I don't need a lot.  Insert awkward segway into this funny picture...

Happy field roast day tomorrow!

Today I was actually a little excited about coming to work.  The only reason being, I would be able to get a coffee. I've had a horrible headache the past two days of which I think belongs to not having a coffee in the morning. I hate taking medicine unless I absolutely need it so I sat around both days with my head hurting and did absolutely nothing.

Matt was away both days working and screen-printing and I think Emma didn't feel very good either because she was such a snuggle bug on Saturday.  Normally she's bouncing off the walls but she couldn't bury herself under the blankets fast enough.

I did go out on Saturday night though.  Two days this week in which I ventured out of the house.  Amazing and tiring. My old-coworker invited me to go see the Kooks with her on the guest list. Ooohh. We grabbed a drink before we headed in and I'm always amused by the type of crowd certain bands bring in.  I was not expecting the crowd I saw.  It was what appeared to be a bunch of bro guys and sorority girls. Now, I don't really know the Kooks so maybe I have no idea what fan base they attract but their fans were entertaining.  I had this guy in front of me there with his date who was probably the most obnoxious person ever.  He danced more than I've ever seen any guy before and he kept trying to do a British accent like the singer. In between songs, his date and him would have these all out make out sessions. It was weird.

3 day work week. I'm pumped. We are going to Matt's moms house for Thanksgiving. I have no family around so we always spend our time there and I really like them so it's fun. Of course, I would love to spend some time with my family too but a plane ticket across the country and the hassle to do so is out of my budget.

Oh my gawd.  I am so unbelievable tired, I think I could fall asleep standing up.

This week has zoomed by and I'm kind of freaking out at all of the crap I haven't gotten done.  Like homework.  Looks like Saturday and Sunday will be spent catching up.  SO MUCH FUN.

Wednesday night I got sick and called in to work on Thursday.  I did absolutely nothing except for snuggling my puppy and watching crappy daytime tv.

But last night, I had plans.  Plans that included these people.

I'm one of those people. I've been to every midnight premiere of the saga and wasn't going to let this one go by either.  Got a group of girlfriends together and we had a little night out. 

We started out Sweetwater cafe thinking we would have a nice dinner in a little whole in the wall pub before walking over the theater.  What we walked into was much different, it was like college threw up all over the place and people were out in droves drinking up for Thirsty Thursday.   We couldn't hear ourselves think, let alone talk to one another so we nixed that plan and went to UBurger instead. Their fries totally make up for anything.

We got to the theater about two hours early and got seated pretty soon after.  We chit chatted for awhile, and then it began. It was a little cheesy, what Twilight movie isn't, but I still enjoyed it.  It's fun to get out and do something totally mindless for a few hours and seeing Taylor Lautner's abs on the big screen never hurt anybody.

I've been dreaming a lot lately about the future.  Hoping for a simpler life, if that's possible.

Source

We drove down to Matt's old stomping grounds last night and I loved looking at all of the little houses, tucked away, close to the center of town that is quintessential New England.  I voiced my opinion to Matt about possibly moving down there one day and he really has no interest in it.  He loves the city. I love the city too but after awhile, it starts to wear me down.  I came outside yesterday and there was a van parked in front of our apartment with it's window smashed out and the whole dashboard/glove box/everything was completely gutted. I immediately went over to our car to make sure all was fine, and it was, but I hate that feeling.  People in the city give two shits about your car and for the money I spend on it every month, it makes me sick.

(We could probably pay this houses mortgage for what we pay in rent)

Emma has no yard to run and play in, neither does A.  I want our own space where we don't have to worry about being too loud or what in the hell the people upstairs are watching on tv. I imagine one day when I have babies of my own that I won't want to work as much and working outside of the city will be just fine with me.  It will be closer to Matt's parents and if A's mother stays where she's at, we will be closer to him and his school. I never thought I would want to do this, live in the 'burbs.  But unless you have deep pockets, city living might be too much for me.

I'll keep dreaming and wearing Matt down.

I told myself today was going to be a good day.  My boyfriend would be so proud of me trying to keep that PMA going.  It's working, so far, except putting all this energy into being happy has made me extremely tired.  I don't think coffee works.

Emma and I had a late night play session in the dark last night.  I can't not take her out to play because she needs to run a little bit so much. I just pack my pepper spray and hope for the best. We played fetch for about a half an hour and she loved it!  It was peaceful for me too, something about the night and having less distractions and the weather was perfect.  She does this little bunny hop thing that absolutely melts me and makes up for the fact that she bounced into my face this morning.

Matt has been gone the last few nights so Emma and I have been on our own.  This means we curl up in bed together and watch Dexter until I fall asleep 5 minutes later.  Last night I watched Welcome to the Riley's which I have been enjoying, except I fell asleep before the end of the movie.  I'm notorious for this.  I miss my boyfriend though and I'm so happy that he'll be home early enough tonight that we will actually get to spend a few hours together. I don't mind my alone time but I start to miss him after a few days.

I have this Friday off in honor of Veteran's day and I can't friggin wait. My apartments a mess, my heads a mess, my schoolwork is a mess and having an extra day added in there to get things done will be heavenly. I might even be a good girlfriend and make this:

Doesn't it look delicious? Originally found here. 

I'm so irritated today. I feel like I'm irritated most days.  The littlest things just grind on me and wear me down.

Like my boss for instance.  When someone calls, he'll put his speakers up really high and play them a song through the speakers.  This shit bugs the ever loving crap out of me.  Irrational?  Probably. Maybe if it was good music I wouldn't have a problem with it.

I'm also irritated with school.  I actually did quite well, as well as I could, on my accounting test.  I logged on to start the next chapter and in big letters I'm greeted with " THIS CHAPTER IS REALLY HARD.  PREPARE TO BE LET DOWN".  It didn't really say that, but that was my interpretation.

We also have no groceries at the house, Matt has no money to buy any, I have money but won't have a car tonight because Matt is working late.  Meaning, I won't be eating dinner tonight.  Unless I can scrape a meal out of lettuce, half a popsicle, black beans and peanut butter.

Is it really only Tuesday?
::cry::

Last week, after the deeply depressing news about American Nightmare, there was a memo released that they would be releasing a few more select number of tickets in a package with some t-shirts to help out with a cancer charity.  I was immediately stoked but then remembered how things went down last time and how it didn't end pretty. 

Today those tickets went on sale at noon.  I had my friend Nicole sitting at her computer and me sitting at my work computer.  We were chatting together and once the clock hit, we both refreshed, AND WE BOTH GOT TICKETS. I feel like pinching myself right now, I literally can't stop smiling and I am not getting ANY work done. 



I can't wait for this.  Can't. Wait.   Apparently these ones sold out in seconds as well and I feel so damn lucky. 


Okay.  Life can go on.  I'll be smiling until December.

Last night was perfect. It was chilly but not cold, the sun was setting as I took Emma for a walk and I let her do whatever her little dog heart wanted because I was in no rush. These pictures do not do the sunset any justice. The colors of pink and orange in the sky were so bright, I didn't want to go home.







We did finally make it home where we met Matt and while he cooked dinner, I perused my social media sites. I've been noticing more and more with the election coming up and the whole occupy movement that people have been vocal about their affiliations/religious thoughts/etc. I find myself reading some of them and wanting to reply because I wholeheartedly disagree but I never click that reply button. I don't want to get into a war but it's also very hard for me to just sit on my hands and not let MY voice be heard.

After Obama was elected President, some of my facebook friends and family went absolutely nutso. One of my Aunts posted a status about them going to buy a shitload of guns because Obama was going to take all of their guns away!!!1! And she was serious. I can't remember exactly was I responded with but it was probably along the lines of, "are you fucking high?" and so I got unfriended. It kind of makes me laugh now because y'all can still buy guns and I kind of miss going head to head with her. 

I also have a cousin who used to post political stuff all the time and most of it made my eyes roll so far back into my head, it hurt. I don't know if people post it to get a rise out of others or what,  but they almost feel offended when I respond. You can't post your cray cray rantings and not expect my big mouth not to respond. Luckily these are all family members so I can get in healthy debates about our government.

Religion is another subject I feel awkward with.  I grew up in a Christian household but no longer claim to be any religion.  I've attended services with other denominations, I've taken classes.  Religion is pretty fascinating to me but not something I ascribe to.  So when I read blogs that talk about God, I admit, I get a little weird.  I'm not sure what to say so I usually exit quietly and wait for their next post.

I think my biggest issue with these hot topics is that very infrequently are people going to change their minds about what they believe in.  AND, not everybody believes in the same thing, and that's okay.  The great thing about this country is that we are allowed to have any religion we want or none at all.  AND we could still be friends! Unless you're my Aunt, apparently, because unfriending on facebook is serious business.

As soon as the calender flips to November, my brain starts going on the fritz.

My mind initially starts racing about all the shit I need to get done and my to-do list just keeps getting longer and longer with nothing ever getting accomplished.

The freak snow-storm caused my school's systems to be off-line until last night so not only am I trying to complete my classes, I'm now trying to play catch up which I absolutely HATE. 

I also need to start getting ready for Thanksgiving and Christmas and I look at all of these people decorating their homes and I think, when the fuck am I ever going to be able to do that?!  Not right now, that's for damn sure.  We'll be lucky if I make it to Thanksgiving and if we even get a tree at Christmas.  Friends are texting asking if I want to hang out and I'm like SURE and then I look at my calendar and think, when?  We have one car, a dog that's needy and homework.  I already cancelled dinner plans tonight because I just can't do it.  School will be finishing up 2 days before Christmas which, who in the hell decided that having finals a week before Christmas was a good idea?  I'd like to talk to them.

I'm so exhausted and I literally have to peel myself out of the house to get to work in the mornings when all I want to do is sleep and forget my list of to-do's.  I'm feeling very overwhelmed today.  Can you tell?

Lot's of things suck about sharing custody of a child but holidays just like to throw in a little extra suckage.

We had A this weekend but took him back yesterday so we will be missing out on all the Halloween festivities.  So while I see everyone and their kids dressed up in super cute costumes, I get a little sad knowing that won't be us this year. We will probably hit the sales after Halloween to grab A a costume just to play with around the house and I guess I could take pictures and pretend but we know the truth.

He will probably have fun regardless tonight and I guess that's all that matters and maybe in a few years, when Halloween falls on a weekend, we will get our turn with him.

I have some sad news.  I didn't get the American Nightmare tickets.

I had an alarm set on my phone, I was logged onto the computer all day waiting patiently and then 5 minutes before they went on sale, I was put into a "waiting room" that I never was able to get out of.  I had two computers going and tried to call but was told they sold out in 30 seconds.  SECONDS.

I may have cried.  I may have lashed out at Matt.  I may have been irrational. I'm so sad and feel kind of stupid for feeling so sad.  We do know a girl that works at the label that's putting on the show so we're hoping by some small miracle we can entice her with some delicious dinner to do us a favor.  Or I'll just go to the venue and sneak in through the roof.  Or stand out in the parking lot and pretend I'm inside.

To drown our sorrows, we bought tickets to Fright Night at Fenway Park.  Hopefully being scared will make me forget.

In honor of Halloween, I'll show y'all what I dressed up as 2/3? years ago.  I flew out to Los Angeles for a Halloween party.  Those were the days.  One of my friends' friend throws a pretty awesome party every year and we spontaneously decided to go.  I had just started dating Matt so I really wasn't into meeting anybody but this guy who was on the show, and I quote, "Parks and Rec" talked to me the whole night.  So LA.  I don't know if he thought I gave a shit, but I didn't. After awhile, I took him inside and made him listen to some hardcore.  HA. I'm so smooth. Matt and I still laugh about him.  I have no idea if he was on that show, I don't watch it but Matt says he's never seen him.

Onto the costume, I went as Octomom, which I thought was fitting for being in Hollywood.  Finding 8 plastic babies in LA was no easy task, but I made it happen.  ps.  My lips are not really that big.





Happy Halloween-eve, I'm going to go shovel my car out.  F-this.

Today, I found out some news that changed my outlook on the next couple of months.

It's kind of silly but I wanted to jump up and SQUEE loudly when I saw. One of my favorite hardcore bands, actually probably my favorite, is playing a reunion show. I have never had the chance to see them play because they disbanded before I got into hardcore. 

They started out as American Nightmare but changed their name to Give up the Ghost. And they are playing 15 minutes from house in December. Tickets go on sale in two days and I'll be damned if I don't get them.

Matt and I have talked about flying anywhere in the world to see them play again, but seeing as how they started in Boston, it makes sense that they play again here, lucky for us.I feel like a little school girl who just found out Justin Beiber is coming to town.

Be warned, if you want mushy gushy fluffy shit about relationships, turn away now.
It's a good thing my boyfriend makes a mean sandwich because he's on my shit list.

He called me at work this morning, which is a rare event, and told me the car got towed.

::deep breath::

I don't get how men operate.  I really don't.  He knows how to read.  He knows Boston is vicious when it comes to ticketing and towing cars, hence why we've paid over $500 this year alone in parking tickets.  YET, he still manages to park somewhere he's not supposed to and gets slapped with a $170 ticket and tow charge.

We are literally flushing money down the toilet.  Do you know how frustrating this is for me?  I don't even drive the damn car.  Yet, if I don't take car of the tickets and things, they won't get paid. The cars needed an oil change for about 3,000 miles now and one of the tires has a nail or something in which needs to be fixed.
He keeps saying he's going to do it but IT NEVER GETS DONE. 

I'm trying not to go apeshit on him but it's not working.  Also, in situations like this, I wish I wasn't a type A personality because it probably wouldn't faze me, but it does and I want to smash my head against the desk.

It also doesn't help that I'm pmsing and all I want to do is go home and take a nap.

We need three day weekends.  I don't understand how this hasn't become a law yet, what the crap.

Saturday I was having my first "I-drank-the-kool-aid" party which meant I actually had to clean my apartment since I had guests coming over.  Matt conveniently scheduled himself to work that day so it was up to me.  I got up at the butt-crack of dawn, took Emma to her favorite place ever (daycare), got a coffee, and got crackin'.  Within 3 hours, or 4, I was done and was pretty impressed with myself. Matt says I need to have a party every weekend so the apartment can look that nice all the time.  He's so funny.

We had a good time though!  Nicole brought some individual apple pies, Kate brought wine, I made Matt make some hummus and guacamole and we were set.  Did I take pictures of any of this?  No. We still had a good time though despite no pictures. It's nice to have friends who are supportive of your crazy endeavors and I appreciate them all. :)

Saturday night Matt and I ventured out to see Paranormal Activity 3.  We planned to go to a late movie to hopefully weed out the obnoxious teenagers but that didn't happen.  We could barely here the movie because people were giggling and talking and laughing and being obnoxious during the whole thing. I hate paying an arm and leg to see a movie only to have it ruined by assholes.  Matt was seething by the end of it. No more opening weekend movies for us.  We are officially fuddy duds.

Sunday I spent snuggling my super tired adorable puppy.  Had breakdowns over accounting and planted my butt on the couch for the rest of the day.  Accounting and I are going to spend some time again together today.  He's like a bad date I can't get rid of.

As a little girl I loved Barbies.  LOVED THEM.  I would sit in my room for hours upon hours and play with my little families.  I would go over to my friends house and we would play for days.  I accumulated a disgusting amount of Barbies during my childhood. 

While growing up I never once thought of my Barbies as "role models".  I never looked at their very unrealistic body proportions and wanted to aspire to be that.  I play with them, used my imagination and had fun.  So when I saw an uproar lately about a new Barbie coming out that has tattoos, I just shake my head. 

I think we as a society are becoming so overly invested in our child's psyche and trying to protect them from every little thing that we got lost. We forget that kids are kids and we as the ones raising them, are usually the ones to plant little seeds of prejudice. After all, these are only tattoos.  That does not mean Barbie is going to begin a deep downward spiral into drugs and whoring herself off in the crack alley.

I don't have any daughters yet, or children of my own, but I hope one day to instill in them to be what they want to be.  I hope that my parenting skills will trump any messages they may get from a tv program or playing with a doll.  I hope they have enough self confidence to do what they want with their bodies, once they are of legal age, or to do nothing at all.  I also hope they never feel the need to judge others based on what they put on their bodies. 

Isn't it weird how you live with someone but you never see them?  It's such an odd phenomenon.  I can't remember the last time I saw Matt, minus when he comes rolling into the bedroom and I'm 5% awake.  I know he's working late again tonight so it will just be me and my overly energetic dog.

After my commute from hell home (think wind gusting, cheap umbrella smacking in you the face, water logged flats), I was a wee bit torqued. Instead of doing homework like I should have been I watched trashy reality tv, which, is what I live on.  They were replaying some episodes of Real Housewives from various cities.  I love that show, it's such a trainwreck.  I don't understand how grown women can have SO much drama in their lives.  Maybe it's for the tv, I don't know, but I'm lucky I have nowhere near that going on.

I've also wondered why they haven't done a Real Housewives of Boston.  I know they're are some rich folk around here.  Then I saw this making it's way around the internet last night and pretty much laughed until my sides hurt.



Maybe it's only funny to those of us that live around here but I would so watch this tv show. I guess the news was saying that some people are up in arms about it, which I find to be ridiculous. It's funny! Lighten up people. Also, if you've ever been in my apartment during Red Sox season, it's pretty spot on.

**Lot's of f-bombs dropped in that clip so put some earmuffs on your children**

This week has been pretty quiet. I realize it's only Tuesday but I'm thinking positive ;)

My patience has been wearing extremely thin at work, AKA I have none. It leads me to question whether or not I went into the right profession. I like the legal aspect of my job but I hate being talked down and made out to be the "I-don't-want-to-do-my-work-so-here-you-go" of the office.

I want to go back to working with babies. I loved that job. Put me in a room with 7 screaming infants and I will be happy as a clam. I just wish they would pay daycare workers more. I can't survive on that salary.

I'm hanging on though.  I've been here since May and have a serious case of job searching going on but I realize that doesn't look good on one's resume so I wait.  It's not the my job is bad, I'm sure some people would eat it up, but it's almost too easy.  I kind of feel wasted. Once I get my degree I'll start looking into other ventures.

My first Steppin' Out Saturday! I actually got out of the house instead of burying my nose in school books.

The weather was screaming fall so we set out on an apple picking adventure.  This is our yearly tradition, although we picked pumpkins last year and after they broke my bank account, we went back to apples.



Shirt & Cardian- F21, Jeans- H&M, Shoes- Vans (it was muddy, no cute shoes)




 We also hit the beach since it was only a few miles down the road.  During the summer, parking is $25, we don't go at all much






Time for a nap