Sitting close to downtown LA right now, still on Boston time, enjoying some coffee while everyone else is sleeping. Heather and I flew out for the weekend to attend a Halloween party with her friends. Yesterday we went and got breakfast, drove around looking for plastic babies, saw cardboard couches, saw Snak, drove around dead ends and saw amazing skyline scenery, and had wig parties while dancing in the kitchen.

I bought the cutest little instant camera that I have a feeling is going to be draining my bank account. Film for that little sucker is expensive but SO CUTE. Can't wait to scan the pictures.

This weather is making me very sad and just wanting to crawl into bed and not move. There was snow yesterday in Mass..WAY to early. I took a mental health day yesterday, clear my head, get caught up, relax. It was the first time since I've been going to school that I missed a day and I hated it. Heather borrowed my car though and walking to the train in 30 degree weather when I'm getting sick just didn't sound appealing.

Had some insane drama over the weekend. Let's just say when your friend doesn't like your boyfriend, shit will usually hit the fan. I think that drama is over though and hopefully people will actually get to know him before they write him off. Things in that department are good though, couldn't ask for anything more right now.

Wednesday night Kate, Heather and I went and got treated to this.

Dean Mans Bones. Amazing! The album is perfect for fall, spooky yet inspiring. He had a kids choir with him as well and they made the show even better. Boston was their first show ever and seeing Ryan Gosling in person was nicceee.

Working today, tonight Nicole and I are getting our party on and tomorrow will be a nice relaxing day...carving pumpkins with Matt and the boy, baking apple treats and watching movies under blankies. I'm so excited.

October, holy fucking christ. This year can slow down anytime. This is my favorite month and my favorite time of year though so I’m trying to enjoy every single minute of it.

Apply picking with the boys went remarkable well. Matt’s son is adorable and very much a three year old. He was very well behaved until it came to testing out Ikea couches and then he was all over the place. That’s to be expected though. Jumping on couches that do not belong to me is also really tempting.



I brought Matt out to meet John and Nicole this past week, I needed some more opinions besides heathers. It was a quick visit and I think it went well. I’ve never brought a guy out to meet my friends that they didn’t already know so I was a little nervous. We are not official yet, don’t know exactly when or really care when that will be but I’d say we are dating and having a snuggle partner in time for the winter is awesome.

Today is heathers birthday so debauchery I’m sure will be done. We are going to go ride bikes (of course) and bar hop, with a stop off at the other side café to get some vegan chocolate cake. Dora and I are also making her vegan chocolate cupcakes, you can never have too much of that.

Weekend is busy, more apple picking, taking the little boy to his first movie ( cloudy with a chance of meatballs) hopefully that is succesfull, more movies with other friends and lots of homework. Joy.

Can't get enough of her album. It's been on repeat for weeks now.


Sitting here procrastinating starting my homework. I have a pumpkin candle burning, iced coffee and Converge on. Ready to get down into some Family Law.

The boy and I are going apple picking tomorrow. Finally going to take some pictures. I feel like I haven't used my camera in forever. I'm also meeting his son. Dun Dun DUN.

I can’t believe fall is already here and it’s the middle of September. This is my favorite season and I hope I can drag it out as long as possible before the dreaded winter hits. School started two weeks ago and I have a feeling it’s going to keep me fairly busy this semester, along with boys. And friends. And work. After the whole fallout with the last boy I decided to join a dating website.



In my whole entire life, I never would have though I would be one to do that but fuck it, I did.
I was running out of boys to date in my circle, school doesn’t have the greatest selection and when I do go out im usually to nervous to talk to them. Anyways- I got quite a few messages from guys interested but none of them really did anything for me. Then about 3 days later this guy messaged me. He had tattoos, plugs, right up my alley. We met last Monday, talked at his apartment for a good 4 hours. He has a son which puts a whole new spin on things but I don’t want to discredit him just for that. Our second date, if you want to call it that, we went bowling, out to the other side café for some vegan food and then sat in a parking lot and talked for over an hour. I’m liking this guy. He’s funny and loud which I need but also very thoughtful and considerate which is something I’m not used to. I’m only thinking about the future ever so slightly, but for now I’m enjoying what is going on in the present. I believe things happen for a reason and maybe those 15 bad dates were getting me ready for this one. And if this one doesn’t work out….I really am becoming a crazy cat lady.

Dating! It is so much fun but so confusing. Things were going especially well with the boy, we spent a week together and it was awesome.

Then my mom came and he went to Vermont for the week. I said something joking to him and the joke went to far and I ended up saying things I did mean, but probably shouldn't have said to him. I was tore up the whole week about it. He came back from Vermont and we saw each other that night to talk about it. We talked it over, I explained myself, he explained what he was thinking and everything was good. I stayed there until 4 in the morning and then drove home. I also stayed over the next night. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday he wouldn't really talk to me. I invited him to come hang out....but he didn't want to. No big deal.

I texted him yesterday (thursday) to see how he was. I asked what he was doing that night and he said staying in because he was heading to Nova Scotia tomorrow with this girl friend of his.

????????

I was fine with that, but it almost seems to me like he is trying to piss me off and make me say crazy shit. We texted some more and I told him to let me know when he wants to hang out again because inviting him on all these hangouts only to be rejected is hurting my ego. I meant this in a totally lighthearted way but realized after I said it that he might take it the wrong way. Just like the last time. And he did, and he told me that I must be riding a ten speed bike with all of this backpeddling I'm doing. At that point I wanted to tell him to go fuck himself, but I refrained.

I gently explained that I don't lie, it was a joke and he could make of it what he wanted. I also asked him if I did something this week that I am unaware of. Haven't heard anything back and at this point I'm so done. Done Done Done.

To celebrate this joyous occasion, Heather and I bought some big beers and headed to Dora's house for some chocolate eating, drinking and bitching about boys. It did the trick. I had a blast.

I'm also done being the pursuer in boys for awhile. They can come after me if they want it.
PHEW.

What a week. Last Saturday was my date and suffice to say it was amazing. The boy is amazing, we click, laugh, and I can't wait to see where it goes. We've hung out a few more times and will spend tomorrow together.

Delaware was fun, I always wish I could stay longer. Micah is getting cuter and cuter and I loved playing with him. That age is so fun. Of course it was nice to see Erika too ;).

Today I am meeting up with Nicole, Nikki and little Lucas. We are going shopping, I am getting tattooed, Nikki is babysitting with me and then hopefully the three of us are going to the club. I hope it happens!

And on Sunday my Mom comes....I'm so excited!

Summer needs to seriously slow down. It's already almost two weeks into August, ahhh!

Germany was amazing. There really are no words to describe how much I love Europe. I'll make a big post about that later.

For now, I've just been riding my bike and going on dates. Judd was back in town last weekend and we went out to see Doomriders. He stayed the night, we kissed and cuddled and then went to Autozone in the morning. My dates are so romantic. I don't know what's going on there.

I also have a date tomorrow with a boy I've never met. Heather set it up but Nicoles knows him as well. I'm excited! He asked if I wanted to help him move a tv to Maine and while there we are going to mini-golf, get some ice cream, play on the beach and look around. I think the house up there is empty and it also has a pool so who knows what will happen. I'm going to play it by 'year'.

I'm ready for school to start though, back to a normal schedule which my brain will enjoy.

I don't know when I got it into my head that whitewater rafting sound fun. I guess I just didn't think it would be that scary, just kind of floating along the river and encountering some little rapids. I was wrong. Heather told us to go to the Penobscot in Maine because all of the other rivers were 'boring'. That should have been our first clue that this trip would be nuts.

Heather had to go and get lyme disease the day before we left so she wasn't able to come with us :( We got to the rafting place bright and early at 7 am. There was this group of dirty old men that were there too and Kate and I kept joking about how we would probably get stuck with them. Out of the 150 people that went rafting that day, we got stuck with them. Ha! Just our luck.



It was actually probably the best thing that could have happened. These 6 guys were there for a bachelor party. They were crude, rude, tattooed and we all had a blast. We had an awesome chick guide named Jamie who fit right in as well.

We dropped in at the dam and were told we would be hitting our first class 5 rapid about 10 seconds downstream. Sink or swim time. I can't really explain what it's like to be paddling down a river, go over some water and look like your falling into a hole of water. It's awesome but scary and gets the adrenaline pumping. I paddled like crazy because there was no fucking way I was falling out of that boat. We hit more class 5 rapids, a waterfall and I didn't fall out once. We even surfed the rapids which was also a blast. I definitely want to go again.

The rest of camping was fun. Kate and I were so dead tired after rafting that we just ate some s'mores, had a beer, did some light painting and headed to bed.



We woke up Sunday, made pancakes and headed to Hampton Beach, New Hampshire. That place attracts the trashiest people, it's awesome. I want to go there and just people watch. We ate seafood, had a few beers (shocker) and headed home.



Last night I went on a double date! It was the Stanchis and then Jeremy and I. We wanted to see the Sail Boston boats that came into town but only managed to see one. Right as we got to the pier to see it, it started leaving. Haha. So we went to the Barking Crab for some appetizers and headed over to see Bruno. That movie had me in stitches. Okay, got to get stuff done. 5 more days until Germany.

I've come to realize the past few weeks that I am most certainly a person who needs a schedule. This schedule can and should have moments of spontaneity, but there needs to be somewhat of a routine.

This summer there has been no schedule. Because of that I feel like my life is still spinning out of control. I feel like I'm forgetting to pay bills (I'm not) and get caught up on any sort of project. This week I have been slowly getting caught up on just little shit that has needed to get done. This also means that my summer has been extremely busy which is a good thing. I've been doing a lot of things at night, hanging out with friends and laughing.

This past Saturday was the fourth of July so Kate, Michael and I went to Alysons apartment in East Boston. There are pictures but I think I look like hell in all of them. I'm anxiously awaiting for Kate to put them up. I drank way to much vodka, ate some little hamburger cupcakes, watched the Boston fireworks from the roof deck, listened to impromptu guitar songs and helped clean up a broken smashed back window. It was one of the more memorable fourths I've had in a long time.

This weekend I'm headed up to Maine to camp, roast marshmellows, white water raft (!!!) and have more laughs with friends.

I haven't even started writing this post and I'm getting teary eyed. It's been an emotional day, even more emotional for me I think then when my blood nieces and nephews were born. I think it's just a different relationship with Nicole.

I consider Nicole one of my best friends but more than that. Everything is not always rainbows and butterflies with us which makes us more like sisters. We have been through a lot and at times I've wanted to strangle her, haha. I'm sure she's wanted to do the same. But we get through it and we still continue on. I love her like my sister and seeing her becoming a mom today was wild.

Got the call last night that her water broke and headed to the hospital a few hours later. We were told it was going to be 10 to 20 hours, I didn't believe them and was going to wait it out. At like 2 o'clock in the morning we all decided to head home, get a few hours of sleep and head back. I woke up at 7 and headed back to the hospital. Little did I know that 30 minutes after I arrived she would have the baby. We didn't find out until about an hour and half later.



John finally came out and told us all that a little Lucas Matthew was born. I was shocked, I thought all along it was a little girl. The family is so equipped for boys though and I can't imagine a little boy that wouldn't dream of growing up in a skate park.

Nicole looked amazing when I saw her, like she was on cloud nine. Didn't even seem like she just pushed a baby out!



I'm heading back up tomorrow to see them and visit a little longer. I'm so proud of Nicole and so excited for her and John and honored to be a part of this. I hope this little boy is ready for a life filled with crazy friends and family.

Why are guys so silly? I don't get them and they seem to be pretty simple creatures. It's been a year since I've broken up with B and I've been on a few dates and have hung out with a good amount of guys. Obviously, none of them have worked. One looked like Kurt Cobain except he was really quiet. One was just hot and a douchebag. One, okay a few, were way to clingy. And then I met another one Friday night and today he proceeds to send pictures of himself to my e-mail address? WHY? I can only laugh because....really? He seems like a nice guy, kind of cute and then BAM had to send me pictures of himself.

I do have a blind date Friday. I'm excited. We texted for a bit and the boy seems to actually have a brain. And can use big words! It's going to be a late date though so we're going to go to the movies...Transformers? Do hardcore boys like that? No idea, tough shit.

If this doesn't work out I'm just going to marry my new baby...the D200. I'm in love.

I don't really know what to think about today. I sign into my e-mail this morning and start reading the updated blogs. They all have these super wonderful fathers day posts written out. It makes me teary eyed and sick to my stomach all at once.

It's been 5 years since I've talked to me Dad.

I wonder what he's doing today. If he ever thinks of what he lost.

I think I've been at my new job about a month now and everything is going splendidly. I went through my archives a few days ago and read some of the old posts about my former nanny jobs. I can't imagine working for that again and I'm finally glad I decided to grow some balls and stand up for myself.

I spent yesterday playing with my adorable little Ellie outside. When I first met her she cried and cried and cried but now I think we are figuring each other out. She usually only cries if she is hungry or tired. Plus those smiles she gives me right before she falls asleep, love them!



We had one nice day of weather and now gross rain for days. But this makes me happy! Mmmmmmm



Rode last night to the common the see The Hangover. OMG. I about peed myself from laughing so hard. Plus the preview for Bruno looks just as laugh inducing, have to go see that.

I booked my flight to Germany! I'm really excited and even more excited that it's only a month away.

Another busy weekend. Friday I went and met new baby Scho. He is so adorable and slept pretty much the entire time. Also had a nice chat with Mary. Usually they are running out the door or I am when I go to babysit so it was fun to sit and talk. Had lunch with Nicole and then came back to the city to meet Kate. We went thrift store shopping in Davis Square. Didn't find anything though :(

Went up with Dan, Heather and the boys at Picco in the South End. We had pizza and ice cream and way to many inappropriate stories. Also learned how to catch face lice, gag, and almost passed out.



After THAT, Heather and I headed to JP for the Nesop graduation party. Had a beer, talked with people and walked home around 2 am. Such a busy day. Last night Heather and I went bike riding and it kicked my ass. I went to bed at 10 pm and couldn't drag myself out this morning until almost 1. So pathetic.

The weekends of having something planned everyday are over. Hooray! Finally time to enjoy some camping, bbqing, and the nice weather.

............

Sorry, got distracted. Heather texted saying she had carrot cake so I hauled ass on my bike over there to get some. Delicious! I also made Conor give me a ride on his motorcycle around Boston. That thing was so much fun!

Anyways-Friday night I babysat for a couple from California. The parents were a riot, we had a good time and the kids were insanely good. After that I went over to the hostel where Colin works. He's spending the summer in Nebraska so we had a little going away party for him. We went to the dive bar TC's, I did two shots and had a stoli and sprite. I was done. Went back to Heather's house and fell asleep cuddling with Juddy. Gah, that boy. He's moving back to Boston and I would love for it to go somewhere but knowing my luck it won't. So I'm not getting my hopes up and just letting things happen when they happen.

I went riding tonight by myself down to the Charles river to look at the skyline. So nice and peaceful. I really really love this city.

Seasons keep me in check. Winter is there to remind me that mother nature sucks and also to truly enjoy the other months. Summer is not my favorite season but I love nights like tonight. Perfect sunset, a cool breeze and driving home during twilight. Watching Boston light up. This is what makes winter worth it.

Heather came over last night and we chatted about life. She thinks come September that she is going to pack up all over her stuff and move to Taos for a month and then after that who knows. Of course this makes me incredibly sad. I feel like since I've moved here all of the people whom I've grown to really care about move away. The nannies all went back to Europe and now Heather is leaving. I have also been starting to hang out with Kate more and her and Mike are thinking of moving to San Fran next Summer. It just bums me out.

I would love to be able to pack up my stuff and just move on but I don't feel like I have that urgency yet. I know before I can go anywhere I need to finish school. I would also like to put in a few years as a paralegal just to get some experience. If, after that, I feel like I need to go somewhere I will.

I've traveled through almost all of the states and have seen a few countries. For some reason Boston just feels like home to me. Even though I'm sad that my friends are leaving I know I will continue to make new ones and as long as I feel at home here, I'll probably stay.

The road trip was fast, furious and really fun. We left a little later than we wanted to on Thursday night but we were still able to make it to the border of Pennsylvania. We slept in the car the first night at some rest stop. Actually Heather slept in the car and I tossed and turned the whole time.

Pennsylvania's roads were pretty much tore up all throughout the state. We would go through 15 miles of construction, get a one mile break and then another 15 miles. It made for a long day but we survived and passed into West Virgina. I was pleasantly surprised with this state. It was so green and beautiful. The people were interesting but the state was nice. Kentucky was beautiful too. Rolling green hills. We stopped in Lexington for some dinner and drinks. We were driving around and saw tattooed people sitting outside a bar so we decided to go there. They recommended getting a 'hot brown' from this restaurant down the street so we did. I had never heard of that but is is

"The Hot Brown is an open-faced sandwich of turkey and bacon, covered in Mornay sauce and baked or broiled until the bread is crisp and the sauce begins to brown. Many Hot Browns also include ham with the turkey, and either pimentos or tomatoes over the sauce...

sounds disgusting, but it was actually really good. We went back to the bar and got to hang out with the locals. There accents were so thick, it was funny to talk to them. They were nice but we hit the road again. I couldn't handle another night of sleeping or rather not sleeping in the car so we drove to Elizabethtown and I paid for a dumpy motel room. We went through Tennessee the next day and ate at Sonic and drove straight through Arkansas. From what I saw out of the car windows, Arkansas didn't look to pleasant.

We were going to stop in Oklahoma city to do the dinner and drinks thing again but right as we were coming into the city we got hit with a huge storm. The rain started and it was pretty heavy so people started stopping underneath highway overpasses. I kind of laughed at them, and we kept driving. Then the hail hit. The hail was hitting the car so hard we though the windshield was going to break. We got off the highway and stopped on a little driveway into an apartment complex. The complex was chained off so we couldn't go any farther. About 5 minutes later the street was completely flooded and we needed to get out of their before we were stuck. Heather had to jump out and make sure the car wasn't on the chain while I backed up into a gigantic water puddle. It was insane and we were both shaking by the end of it. We made it to Oklahoma City and had dinner and drinks at some local dive, The Biting Sow. We walked around after trying to find some hipper places but they all charged a cover fee. It was crazy, you walked into a bar that had 3 whole people in it and they wanted a $7 cover fee. Boston doesn't even have those so we just watched some street performers and hit the road again. We got a hotel again and ate at some cute diner the next morning. I thought Oklahoma was gorgeous. Flat, rolling hills with lots of wheat. Reminded me of Western Montana. Huge skies were you could see for miles, I loved it.

We drove through Amarillo in the morning and stopped at the Cadillac Ranch on the way out of town. We also stopped at the biggest cross west of something. The jesus billboards, jesus radio stations and jesus gas stations were all a little much for me. Actually it made me quite uncomfortable. I'm all for freedom of religion but don't push it down my throat and anyone else that happens to drive down the road. They have to realize that not everyone believes in the same religion they do, right? Probably not. We then got to New Mexico. We were both extremely tired at this point so we just drove around Albuquerque. We stopped to have some real Mexican food and I'm still thinking about it. It was delicious.

We also grabbed a coffee before Heather dropped me off at the airport. She still had three hours to drive so I had her drop me off around 10 pm even though my flight wasn't until 6 am. I thought I would be able to sleep. I thought wrong. I pulled an all nighter and I'm still paying for it. My body didn't know what the hell was going on.

Now I'm trying to get back into somewhat of a routine. I feel so off with changing jobs and school ending. I have more busy weekends ahead but then hopefully it slows down so I can get back to normal.

Tomorrow I am driving to New Mexico with Heather. We have 4 days to get there and then I'm flying home bright and early on Monday morning to be back to work on Tuesday.

I bought my ticket home last night, nothing like waiting until the last minute, but when you don't know you are leaving until two days before you leave, that happens.

Hopefully we both make it home alive without killing each other and with lot's of pictures and stories about southern boys.