Thursday, December 22, 2011

I normally try not to discuss the workings of our relationship with A's mother because I'm not exactly sure that a personal blog is the place to air the dirty laundry so I'm going to approach this topic as lightly as I can.

We try our very very best not to say anything bad about his mother, her significant other and anything that may go on in their home.  I'm not quite sure that respect is reversed but we try not to fall into little games. Holidays are always challenging because according to their court agreement, each parent has time with A, but the beginning time is not specified.  To make things easier, and to try and be conscious of Christmas, we offered to meet with A's mom on Christmas Eve so that he could wake up at her house and do all the Christmas hoopla and then we would take him from 1-6. This seemed fine and dandy, but yesterday, she changed the plans and we would only be getting him from 3-6. 

Before I met Matt, he would have probably just said okay and left it at that.  BUT, I don't play that game.  They have a court agreement stating that we get to see A from 1-6 and technically, we don't have to drop A off on Christmas Eve but were doing so to be nice.  See what being nice gets you? 

This whole situation is extremely frustrating for me because most people don't see this side of things.  They don't see the perspective from the dad's side and automatically assume he's some deadbeat asshole who wants nothing to do with his child.  But Matt does.  He pays more than he's supposed to in child support, wants to see A regularly, would love to have A full time, yet keeps getting shit on over and over again.  There's this manipulation game that keeps going on and we try our best to stay out of it but it grates on you.  How fun is it that you may have to call the local authorities on Christmas because the mother of child is in contempt of court and won't hand your son over.

Luckily, I don't think that will be happening because we went back to our original agreement.  But, I don't understand the need for drama.  Why can't things just be?  Things are going well, we are trying to compromise, make the best decisions for A, and when it looks like things might actually be going okay....BAM.  Shit hits the fan.

We are not going to let this little blip ruin our Christmas though and we will try and make A one very happy boy.  We know he will have fun at his mom's house and we want that for him, we just wish that she wanted the same at our house.


  1. oh hun, that must be SO FRUSTRATING! I can't understand women who do that, who push their children's father that far. If he wants to be a part of their childs life, why complicate it?

    I can honestly say that if Matt and I ever divorced {highly unlikely}, that I would NEVER make things complicated for him to see his kids, and vice versa.

    She should be thankful your Matt isn't a deadbeat and be more compromising towards whats best for A!!

    P.S. You? Are AWESOME.

  2. Thank you for the kind words.

    I try my best and it is most certainly not easy.

    I don't understand women that push the fathers away either when a lot of women would LOVE for the fathers to be involved.