Amazingly, I'm feeling pretty peaceful about this whole situation. It's quite weird.
(Minus the stuff to do with Emma. I don't like thinking/talking about her, it makes me cry).
This is so different from last time. Maybe because I've been through it before? I don't know. Although, this time there is a lot more stuff to figure out. We've furnished an apartment together, merged health insurance, phones, etc., so dividing all of that up is going to be a fun task. As well as trying to move an apartment worth of stuff into a room. I can't afford a place in Boston by myself so I'm going to have to go back to living with roommates. Sigh.
I woke up this morning and things felt normal. I came out of the bedroom and Emma leaped off the couch doing her little tail wags, unbeknownst to her that things are going to drastically change soon. Things in our relationship have been kind of rocky for the past few months and I just kept on trudging on. I thought maybe things would eventually change or our stresses would start to die now and we'd be okay. Writing about your shitty relationship isn't something that's normally done, nor is talking about it, so while this break up may not be as much of a shock to me, most of my friends and family are. My friends have been great and I think it's during times like these that you really find out what you are capable of.
I hope Matt comes out okay too. I hope he finds what he's looking for in life and can find happiness.
I think openly writing about it isn't always a bad thing. I've written about my mother's sudden death on my blog and amazingly enough people have been supportive (including comments from you!).
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you have a positive mindset this time around. Things will come around....they'll just be shitty for awhile until one day you'll wake up and be surprised by how things are good again.
Also, when you say that you may not be able to keep Emma....does that mean Matt is keeping her????
Ironically after I posted this, shit hit the fan and I'm now wanting to crawl out of my skin because I'm so stressed.
ReplyDeleteNeither Matt or I will probably be keeping Emma. It's practically impossible to find an apartment that will let me take her and I only have 3 weeks to move.
I'm sorry lady that sucks so bad. When I say I feel your pain I mean it. Since I've been through it before my stomach sinks when I read this just because I remember how it goes. Is there any chance of looking outside of Boston or do you have to stay for work?
ReplyDeleteI wish I could look outside of Boston but I really need to stay for work. I have my car but parking downtown isn't possible while I work unless I pay about $300 for a spot, so public transportation it is. I'll get through it, we all do, but it's going to suck for a few months.
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