Wednesday, March 03, 2010




That accurately describes how I feel life is going at the moment. I talked to Matt last night. I just needed to know that in his heart, when all is said and done, he does want to be with me. If he was questioning it then I would have needed to move on.

He said he wants to be with me but right now he can't be. I can either move on or wait this out and see what happens. He has this cycle in his life where he starts dating someone, things going really well-he gets comfortable-and then they go to shit. He doesn't want to be like this anymore which is why he broke up with me before things became even more serious and my feelings would have been more hurt. He needs to work on himself and has been doing so the past few weeks, he feels a little better in his finances and his car situation was taken care of.

Our communication needed to be addressed because we obviously were not on the same page. I told him I didn't want to talk for a month a few days ago but I don't really want to go that long without talking, neither does he. We agreed to talk on the phone once a week for now, potential moving up to seeing one another in a month or so.

I feel better. It's still a roller coaster but at least I know for sure that he does want to be with me in the end and now we just have to move through this gross phase.

photo source

1 comment:

  1. Ugh! Sad this.

    Hope you two go through this just to come out stronger. In a way, you'll also learn to live your lives without the addiction you'll obviously seem to have for each other. A little independence will be good plus he'll realize how special you actually are to him.

    p.s. i get the impression that you are more into the addiction than he is, as of now. Not a sad thing, but try giving yourself prime importance in your life, everyone else can and will come later. Life will be happier then- saying all of that coz i've been there, done that, now very happy to be doing this ;)

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