Monday, March 12, 2012

Things have been awfully quite around here.  I kind of lost the blogging umpf. Sometimes I want to write multiple posts in one day, and sometime I want to be silent for weeks.

This weekend consisted of good and bad.  It was our first weekend of not having A after having him for 3 weeks so Matt worked on Saturday meaning that Emma didn't go to daycare.  And that's our routine, Emma goes to daycare on Saturday.  Her not going meant that she was extremely hyper and after having a terrible week, I really had no energy to deal with her.  We had some freak show weather on Saturday, it was cold and some snow fell so I couldn't take her to the park so her and I sat inside and sulked.  It wasn't pretty. I tried to do homework which is impossible with a 55 pound dog up your ass, so nothing got done. I was in tears most of the day and night. I put myself to bed early on Saturday and just wanted the week to be over with.

I hate when I have these days.  It makes me question if there's a deeper problem going on, like depression.  I'm not sure if these are "normal" outbursts or if I'm just so incredibly overwhelmed that this is what happens when I break. "Normal" 25 year olds are not working full time, going to school, trying to take care of an apartment, a relationship and share custody of a 5 year old. I think, if I wasn't in school, my life would be easier to control.  I only have 3 classes left though (after the two I finish that I'm in now) so I can't stop.

I woke up Sunday, took Emma to daycare, grabbed a coffee on the way home and determined not to have another awful day.  I got to work on my homework, completed it within an hour and took off to go do some shopping by myself before Matt woke up.  I grabbed some new coral skinny jeans, a flowy top and cardigan and some new nail polish.  It's amazing what a little retail therapy does. We later went to the movies and saw Wanderlust, came home and relaxed.  It was a nice way to end the week and hopefully this week will be less miserable.

So, speaking of new nail polish, I think I've rekindled my love for it.  I wasn't very big on wearing polish but after Zoya did a promotion for two free bottles, I've been on a kick lately.  I bought that pretty plum color this weekend and have about 10 more bottles in my cart waiting to be purchased.


Here's to a new week filled with lot's of sunshine (at least in Boston) so I'm hoping to make it a good one.


  1. Heather! You're baaaack!! Hi.

    Just so you know, you're totally normal. I worked full time while going to school full time while taking care of an apartment and a relationship (no 5 year old, though) and I was bat shit insane. I would sit on the couch wide eyed at night absolutely panic stricken about how I was going to take care of it all. Seriously. I ground my teeth to the point of it sounding like they were going to shatter out of my head. I couldn't eat, I smoked like a chimney.

    It's a lot to deal with. Don't be so hard on yourself. It's easy to feel like everyone else is pulling it off while you're barely hanging on but that's just not true. You'll finish school soon enough and this part of your life will be behind you. And the fucking nuts part is like 6 months later, a year later, you'll think why was I wound so fucking tight?! That wasn't that hard. Ha, even though it totally was.

    Seriously, YOU CAN DO THIS! :) Even if you cry the whole way through, which may or may not have been exactly how I handled it..

  2. Oh, Julie, there are tears and more tears. I can't wait to be finished. I honestly don't know what I'll do.

    Matt is also waiting for me to finish so he doesn't strangle me first. This is definitely a test but if I/we can make it through this, I'm sure we can make it through any other shitty situations.

    It's nice to know I'm not completely crazy though.