Matt called me last night to tell me the news he had found out about his taxes. While I was happy he called, it also stung a little bit. He sounded happy, like nothing was wrong, while my heart just sank. I texted him later that night saying while I want to support him in any way I can, I also need to think of myself. I asked him if he thought there would be a future for us because if not, I needed to take some time and not be communicating with him. He said he wouldn't be opposed to that and space really can heal pain. He also said he doesn't know what the future holds unfortunately. So for now, for my feelings and for me to really move on I can't talk to him.
Who does know what the future holds but it isn't fair to me to be communicating with him holding on to that one thought that maybe we would get back together someday. This relationship is over. I need to accept that, as much as it hurts, and move on. It's going to take a lot of time for me to get back to normal and I'll probably still have moments where it just hurts but that's okay.
I just came across your blog and read what you're going through. I totally understand what you're going through and I wish you all the strengths to carry on, all the discipline to keep your redlines vivid, and all the faith to keep your heart peaceful. Remember, "everything happens for a reason" and if it is not meant to be, it will never happen. This is only for the best for both of you. God knows what best and if he put you to it, He is sure to put you through it. Cheer up, do something good and new to yourself, and when you feel down distract yourself! Focus on the 'now' and be good :)
ReplyDeleteNo joke, i had the same conversation, word for word, with my ex, two months ago! good job, keep going, stay strong, do new things!
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