just another story

I had yesterday off of work so I sat in my room cleaning the whole day and going over what I was going to say to Matt. I rehearsed it, didn't cry, knew what I was going to say. I felt like I needed to tell him how I was feeling, go with my heart. My brain and heart having been telling me two different things this week and the heart won.

The talk almost didn't go down but after driving to Braintree, back to Boston and then back to Matt's apartment, it did. I just threw it out there that after thinking this week I love him too much to just let him go so easy. I'm willing to work on the things I can, support him while he gets help and start re-building. I needed to know if he was willing to do that or if I needed to be out of his life.

He said he's willing to work on things and he wants to be with me he just knows that he can be a better boyfriend and wants to make sure that happens first. We are still going to be taking time apart and have some space, but still keep in contact with each other. He asked when school is out this year and I said May. He wants May to potentially be the point where we can really start going ahead with things again. Then we just continued to talk for 2 hours about life and how we have both been miserable for the past week.

I'm optimistic that things will turn around and we can start an even better relationship. I asked if maybe next weekend I could come over and we could cook dinner with the boy and he agreed. Definitely taking things slow but I might actually be able to sleep at night now.