She is asleep on my couch right now.  The last few days have been a whirlwind and I'm worn out!  Matt and I have discussed getting a dog for some time now and it's always been an "in the future" type though.  I found a post on craigslist about a pitbull puppy mix that needed a new home.  I wrote the lady who had her, we exchanged e-mails, pics and this past Friday we went to meet her. The only thing that's throwing a thorn in our spine is our landlord.  I texted him on Wednesday to let him know we were looking at dogs, he was okay with this but wanted us to stay away from "aggressive breeds".  I told him about our meeting with Emma on Friday and if we should skip it, no response from him so we went.  

We didn't expect to take her home so soon but the owner asked if we wanted her and we said "sure!".  We had no supplies.  We get her home and that's when we receive another text from the landlord that he would prefer a different breed.  I wanted to bang my head against the wall.  If this guy is so concerned with us getting a dog, specifically one that has a little pitbull in her, then why is he taking days to respond. I texted him back stating that we had her for the weekend and we wanted him to come meet her before he makes a final decisions.  Still no response and that was on Friday!  Honestly, it sucks that this whole breed of dogs gets a bad rap because of media hysterics.  I understand that some of these dogs are bred to fight and obviously that's not okay and I feel bad for those little guys.  Emma has lived with a family since she's been born, a family with kids and another dog.  She's been nothing but friendly with us, doesn't bark and only get's a little crazy every now and then because she's still a puppy.  

I can't sleep, I just wish he would come and meet her and we would be all set.  I don't know what we are going to do if he won't let us have her :(  

These past few days have been incredibly busy though.  Man, I though I was busy before.  The focus is now totally on her.  She did have a few accidents inside but now we have her little potty spot outside and I think she's beginning to get it.  I still watch her like a hawk though.  We have hardwood floors which makes clean-up easy but I'd rather not have her peeing in the house.  I also feel incredible guilt leaving her alone. It's so bad and probably so irrational.  We are discussing putting her in a doggie daycare once a week or something just to get her out and socializing.  Matt has two days off during the week and I have the weekends off so she'll only be by herself for 3 days a week and even though his schedule staggers.  I keep telling myself she'll be okay but seeing her in her crate is depressing.  Eventually we will let her roam but that's probably a few months out.  We are definitely enjoying her snuggles though.

ETA-  While I was writing this post our landlord texted Matt and said we could keep her.  Yay yay yay!!

Just put my mom in a cab and sent her on her way to airport.  This visit was not all rainbows and butterflies like I wanted it to be.  I could lie and say it was but I won't.  My mom and I have a complex relationship.  I didn't live with her growing up, I would stay with her for a few weeks during the summer.  She's very motherly and likes to make sure everybody has everything they need but almost to the point of being overbearing.  I'm an adult now with my own little family, I have no interest in being mothered anymore. 

We also live two very different lives. Everything from our locations, what we eat, religion, politics...you name it, it's different.  There were a few moments where she was crying and stated she just wanted to go home.  It broke my heart because I was the one who was making her feel this way.  I felt like I was being judged the whole time she was here.  My sister kept texting me giving me ideas of what we should be doing, I should be feeding her meat, I should be doing this and that.  At one point even her boyfriend texted me and I've never even met the guy.  It was frustrating to say the least.  I don't tell them what they should be doing, I don't expect them to do it to me.  I think this would lead anybody to feel judged. 

I didn't want it to go this way.My aunt was supposed to fly in with my mom but because she was flying stand-by, they bumped her off.  I feel if my aunt was here the visit would have gone differently.  My aunt and I can usually laugh at my mom's antics.  I don't know if she will come visit again and after not seeing her for two years it makes me sad. 

My mother flew in a day early, threw a little wrench in our plans but I got one more day off and we are going out to enjoy it.

Yesterday I was joking around with Matt about wedding songs.  I don't know if he finds my jokes funny but that's beside the point.  He told me he already knew the song we would have our first dance too.  He has never shared this with me so of course I was curious.  He then played me "A Rainy Night In Soho" by The Pogues and that was it. 

I've been loving you a long time
Down all the years, down all the days
And I've cried for all your troubles
Smiled at your funny little ways
We watched our friends grow up together
And we saw them as they fell
Some of them fell into Heaven
Some of them fell into Hell

I took shelter from a shower
And I stepped into your arms
On a rainy night in Soho
The wind was whistling all its charms
I sang you all my sorrows
You told me all your joys
Whatever happened to that old song
To all those little girls and boys

Now the song is nearly over
We may never find out what it means
But there's a light I hold before me
And you're the measure of my dreams
The measure of my dreams

Sometimes I wake up in the morning
The gingerlady by my bed
Covered in a cloak of silence
I hear you in my head
I'm not singing for the future
I'm not dreaming of the past
I'm not talking of the fist time
I never think about the last

Now the song is nearly over
We may never find out what it means
Still there's a light I hold before me
You're the measure of my dreams
The measure of my dreams 

He had tears in his eyes by the time the song was done.  He said this would be the only thing he would ask for.  How can I say no to that.  

We don't have Adrian this weekend because he is with his mother, participating in his Uncle's wedding.  While I feel incredibly guilty for thinking it, the break has been nice.  Every parent needs a break every now and then.  Of course I miss him, but I'm enjoy sitting on the couch all day.  We've also taken advantage of our free weekend.

On Friday we went to see The Pogues. I bought the tickets for Matt for his birthday, some of the most expensive tickets I've ever bought for one act.  We went with friends and had a really good time.  This is their last US tour and Matt had a smile plastered on his face the whole time as well as all day yesterday.

Saturday after Matt got of work we went did dinner and movie.  We've been wanting to see The Adjustment Bureau since we saw the preview about a year ago-or at least it felt that long ago.  It was really good, a movie that kept your interest. 

I also booked our trip to Puerto Rico! I'm so excited.  I haven't traveled in forever which is not okay with me.  I have this need to see other places, cultures and I haven't been anywhere in far too long.  We chose Puerto Rico because we wanted to go somewhere and relax but I'm not that type of traveler so we will also see some sights while we are there.  Matt works with some guys who are from there and have the hook-up to a zip-lining, bridge adventure type place.  We will definitely be doing that and I would like to do one other sightseeing adventure.  The rainforest?  Caves?  Ponce?  I'm still re-searching them all. We will also be staying at a Sheraton which I'm not too sad about either.  This trip can't some soon enough.

My mom and Aunt are supposed to fly in this Thursday so today will be spent cleaning and getting ready for their arrival.






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Quite evening at home, waiting for the boy and then it's homemade pizza and t.v time.  I love nights like this.

I'm in a funk.  I've been so irritable the last few days and not exactly happy.  Walking into work this morning only to realize that my job was just one huge problem didn't help.  It amazes me that these attorneys can complete three years of law school, pass the bar, and still cannot get the simplest shit right.  I came home and I'm going to veg on the couch for the rest of the evening.  Of course, I came home to a bill for 'property sales tax' on my car for over $200.  I already paid excise on it, I'm rather confused and pissed. 

I did get to spend yesterday with a cute little baby but, it didn't bring me out of the grumpies.  I'm hoping the rest of the week is better.

The past 24 hours have been r o u g h. Wednesday are my long days, with a whole day of work and almost 4 hours of school after.  I'm taking an accounting class this semester and my professor might as well be speaking Russian, because I do not get it.  We had an exam last week and while I didn't think I did terrible, I was not expecting the grade I got.  My paper came back with a 44%.  I didn't even know getting a grade that low was possible!  I'm pissed.  I want so much to be able to understand this but it's just. not. clicking.  We read a chapter and do problems, that's it.  I don't learn that way because what I'm reading is not making sense.  It's frustrating.  I know it's just going to keep compiling onto each other so I set up an appointment for tutoring.  (in my spare time, hah).  I also e-mailed my professor to see what could be done. I can't fail this class, I can't fail any class. I've never failed a class.  I had a mini-anxiety attack at work and pretty much had tears rolling down my face all day.  I want to go to sleep and have this all be over.

I changed my name, I kind of hate the fact that my old blog just goes *poof* and I can't really tell anyone it moved.  Not that I had any followers, but still.

Still no word about the job, I'm getting so anxious.  I hate waiting!  I just want to know, either way.

and it's March 1st, C'mon Spring!  I'm ready!

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